The Bible has much to say about family relationships and the hierarchy that God intends within families. Here is an overview of key biblical principles related to hierarchy in the family:
God Established a Hierarchy in Marriage
Genesis 2:18-25 describes how God created woman to be a “helper fit for him” (Genesis 2:18 ESV) in relation to man. 1 Corinthians 11:3 states, “the head of a wife is her husband.” Ephesians 5:22-24 instructs wives to submit to their husbands as to the Lord. These verses point to God establishing a hierarchy within marriage where the husband is called to loving, sacrificial leadership and the wife is called to respectful submission to her husband’s leadership.
Parents Have Authority Over Children
Multiple verses speak to a parent’s authority and responsibility to raise children in the training and instruction of the Lord (Deuteronomy 6:6-7, Proverbs 22:6, Ephesians 6:4). Children are called to obey and honor their parents (Exodus 20:12, Ephesians 6:1-3). This establishes a clear parental hierarchy over children within a family.
Siblings Should Relate as Servants
While the Bible does not explicitly outline a hierarchy between siblings, biblical principles point to relating to one another as servants, each seeking to honor others above themselves (Philippians 2:3-4, Romans 12:10). Older siblings do carry a responsibility to set a godly example for younger siblings (1 Timothy 4:12).
This Hierarchy Reflects Christ’s Relationship with the Church
The family hierarchy of husband, parents, and older siblings reflects Christ’s sacrificial servant leadership over the Church. As Ephesians 5 explains, the husband’s loving leadership and the wife’s submission pictures Christ and the Church. The parental hierarchy models God’s loving authority over His people. When lived out as Scripture describes, family hierarchy displays the Gospel.
Hierarchy Does Not Excuse Abuse or Unchecked Authority
While God establishes hierarchy in family relationships, this does not provide an excuse for abuse of authority. Husbands are called to give themselves up for their wives (Ephesians 5:25) and fathers are cautioned not to exasperate their children (Colossians 3:21). Those in authority will give an account to God for how they lead (Hebrews 13:17).
We Are All Equally Valued Before God
While God assigns different roles and authority within a family hierarchy, His Word also teaches that we are all equally valued image-bearers of God (Genesis 1:27). There is neither male nor female in Christ (Galatians 3:28). Each family member is a dearly loved child of God.
Hierarchy Provides Order and Stability
God is a God of order, not chaos (1 Corinthians 14:33). The family hierarchy described in Scripture provides a structure of leadership, authority, and mutually-edifying relationships. Each member knows their role and responsibilities. This order provides stability and helps prevent confusion and relational breakdown.
Sin Can Distort God’s Design for Hierarchy
Because we live in a fallen world, hierarchy can become distorted by sinful attitudes and actions. Husbands can become domineering. Parents can provoke their children. Siblings can fail to honor each other. When lived out according to biblical principles, however, family hierarchy displays God’s grace.
Jesus Christ Submitted to Parents
Jesus provides the perfect model of appropriate submission to human authority. The sinless Son of God honored his earthly parents for the first ~30 years of his life (Luke 2:51-52). This remarkable example demonstrates that hierarchy involves mutual submission between authorities and those under authority.
We Are Called to Submit to Governing Authorities
Not only are families instructed to live within God’s design for hierarchy, but Christians are called to submit to the governing authorities that God has placed over them, within biblical limits (Romans 13:1-7, 1 Peter 2:13-17). We model humility and service even to ungodly authorities.
Husbands Should Exercise Headship as Christ Does for the Church
While husbands do carry authority and headship within marriage, they are explicitly instructed to model their leadership after Jesus’ sacrificial care for the Church. Like Christ laid down his rights and gave himself up for his people, husbands are called to similar loving, humble headship in the home (Ephesians 5:25-30).
Fathers Should Not Provoke or Exasperate Their Children
Fathers are cautioned against abusing the authority they hold over their children. Colossians 3:21 warns fathers specifically not to “provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.” Parental authority should be exercised through nurturing care, not antagonistic domination that provokes resentment.
Hierarchy Is for This Age, Not Eternity
The family hierarchy described in Scripture provides order and structure for relationships in this present age. But the Bible indicates that distinctions between roles of husband and wife, parent and child, will not remain in heaven (Matthew 22:30). Our primary identity is in Christ.
Masters and Slaves
The New Testament instructs slaves to submit to masters (Colossians 3:22-25, 1 Timothy 6:1-2). While we do not practice slavery today, this underscores the biblical principle of appropriate submission to earthly authorities God has permitted to exist.
Jesus’ Example as Servant
Jesus demonstrated that authority comes not through domineering power but through humble service. He washed his disciples feet and instructs leaders that the greatest is a servant (John 13:3-17, Matthew 20:26-28). Like Christ, those in authority are called to a posture of servitude.
Husbands and Wives Are Joint Heirs
While the Bible articulates a hierarchy between husband and wife, it balances this with the truth that men and women are fellow heirs of God’s grace and blessing (1 Peter 3:7). Hierarchy does not equate to differences in value or blessing.
God Can Use Anyone
Throughout Scripture, God demonstrates His sovereignty by gifting and calling people to roles of leadership and influence regardless of earthly status or hierarchy. He used a young David to lead His people, and many other unexpected choices, like women and fishermen.
We Ultimately Submit to God
While God calls Christians to appropriately submit to earthly authorities, He alone is the highest authority. Peter declared “We must obey God rather than men” (Acts 5:29) when human authorities prohibited Gospel preaching. Our ultimate allegiance is to God.
Husbands and Wives Complete One Another
While assigning different roles to husband and wife, the Bible portrays marriage as two becoming one flesh (Genesis 2:24). They areinterdependent and their gifts complement one another. Wives are called a “helper fit for him” (ESV Genesis 2:18), completing what was lacking.
Jesus Voluntarily Laid Down His Rights
Though equal with God the Father, Jesus willingly laid down his rights and status to serve humanity in obedience to the Father (Philippians 2:5-8). He provides the ultimate model of voluntary, humble submission even when one has authority and power.
We Are One Body in Christ
1 Corinthians 12 instructs that the church functions as a body, with different parts needing one another. This interconnectedness in the body of Christ illustrates the mutuality that should characterize Christian relationships, despite roles.
In summary, the Bible clearly outlines a hierarchy within family relationships, with parents over children and husband over wife. But this hierarchy is always to be exercised through loving, humble service. And it always exists alongside the overarching biblical truth that we are all equal before God.
