Submission is a controversial concept in today’s society. Many resist the idea of submitting to any authority outside of themselves. However, the Bible has much to teach us about mutual submission between believers.
Ephesians 5:21 says, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” This verse introduces the passages on marriage that follow. But it also stands on its own as an important principle for relationships within the church. Let’s explore what submitting to one another looks like in practice.
1. Submitting means putting others first
Our natural inclination is to look out for ourselves and our own interests first. The call to submit challenges us to consciously put others before ourselves. It means being willing to yield our rights and privileges if that would serve another person. Paul echoes this idea in Philippians 2:3-4, saying:
“Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” (ESV)
We live in community with fellow believers. Submitting to one another requires considering their needs equal to or above our own. It means being willing to forgo something we want for the sake of someone else.
2. Submitting requires humility
Our Western culture exalts independence and individualism. The call to mutual submission demands humility. Being willing to yield our rights for others goes against our natural inclination to assert ourselves. True biblical submission only comes when we are willing to think less of ourselves.
The Apostle Paul writes in Romans 12:3, “For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned.” Giving preference to others flows out of sober judgment about ourselves.
3. Submitting means serving others
The example of Jesus provides our model for what submission looks like in action. Though fully God, Christ humbled himself to take on human flesh and die for us (Philippians 2:5-8). He gave up His rights and privileges for our benefit. We follow His example when we use our freedom to serve and build up others.
Paul describes this attitude in Galatians 5:13 – “For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.” Submitting to others means using our skills, time, energy and resources to benefit those around us.
4. Submission requires listening
Submitting to others includes being willing to listen attentively. James 1:19 reminds us to be “quick to hear, slow to speak.” Listening shows value and care for the other person. It’s hard to put someone else first while insisting on always voicing our own opinion.
Ephesians 5:21 leads into instruction about wives submitting to husbands. This does not mean women blindly following whatever men say. True biblical submission involves caring dialogue between equals. The wife honors her husband’s perspective, and he listens to hers.
5. Submission is voluntary, not forced
There is never a place for coercion or control over others in the church. Forced obedience is not the same as biblical submission. Peter instructs church leaders not to “domineer” over those in their care (1 Peter 5:3).
We choose freely to put the needs of others first. Our submission is voluntary, motivated by love. Paul writes in Philemon 1:14 about wanting people to “do what is right, not by compulsion but willingly.” The church should be marked by mutual care, not power plays.
6. We submit to church leaders
Hebrews 13:17 says to “obey your leaders and submit to them.” God has placed men and women in positions of leadership for our benefit. We should welcome their loving guidance.
That said, leaders also have a solemn responsibility not to take advantage of their authority. Scripture gives criteria for choosing godly, humble servants to lead the church (1 Timothy 3:1-13). Following unwise leaders would be foolish submission.
7. Submission does not mean agreeing on everything
We tend to equate submission with unquestioning agreement. However, we see examples in Scripture where someone submits even while disagreeing.
In Acts 15, Paul and Barnabas disagreed strongly with some Jewish believers. After much discussion, the apostles and elders settled the dispute. The church maintained unity despite the disagreement. This models humble, thoughtful submission to one another.
8. Mutual submission honors Christ
Verse 21 contains the key to why we submit to one another – “out of reverence for Christ.” Our submission is not merely about behaving well. It is an act of worship to Christ.
As believers, we have sacrificed our own interests in order to serve Jesus. We also yield our rights to other believers out of devotion to Him. Our submission to the church mirrors our submission to our Lord.
9. Marriage involves mutual submission
Some argue that verse 22 invalidates mutual submission because it says wives should submit specifically to their husbands. However, the passage goes on to instruct husbands to sacrificially love their wives. This implies caring for their needs and desires.
Marriage is not a hierarchy but a partnership. Ephesians 5:21 frames marriage as mutual submission in different ways. Both spouses yield to each other out of reverence for Christ.
10. Submission builds up the church
The church consists of varied, imperfect people. Many conflicts and disagreements could divide us. Submitting to one another in humility is the solution.
Paul urges the Ephesians to “make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace” (Ephesians 4:3). Mutually deferring to one another preserves that unity. Submission ultimately strengthens the witness and work of the church.
The call to submit goes against the grain of our individualistic culture. But the Bible makes clear that voluntarily yielding to others is central to Christian relationships. Our submission mirrors Christ’s sacrifice for us. It expresses love and provides a powerful witness to the world.
