The verse “weep with those who weep” comes from Romans 12:15 in the Bible. The full verse says, “Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.” This verse teaches an important Christian attitude of empathy and compassion for others.
To “weep with those who weep” means to join in sorrow and grief with those who are suffering or mourning. It means feeling and sharing in their pain and hurt. When others around us experience tragedy, loss, despair or heartbreak, this verse calls us as Christians to enter into that suffering with them.
We are to be sensitive to the hardships others are facing and allow ourselves to feel their sorrow too. We join them in their weeping and crying, rather than ignoring or avoiding their pain. The act of weeping with them can provide comfort and show that someone cares about what they are going through.
This kind of empathy and unity in suffering is a marker of true compassion and love. As 1 Corinthians 12:26 says, “If one member suffers, all suffer together.” When Christian brothers and sisters mourn, we are called to mourn right along with them in a deep fellowship of shared grief.
Some practical ways we can “weep with those who weep” include:
- Listening to them share about their pain without judgment or trying to “fix it.” Sometimes people just need someone to cry with.
- Validating their feelings and not minimizing their sorrow or telling them to “get over it.”
- Sitting with them in their grief without feeling like you have to say anything profound.
- Crying along with them as they express their emotions.
- Putting an arm around them in comfort as they weep.
- Being present at funerals and memorials to grieve the loss together.
- Sending cards, flowers or food to let them know you care in the midst of loss.
- Praying for them and with them through the stages of grief.
Weeping together binds hearts in shared pain and communicates love in a profound way. It also mirrors the heart of God, who promises to be near to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18). As Jesus wept at the tomb of Lazarus (John 11:35), so we follow His example when we grieve with others.
However, “weeping with those who weep” does not mean getting swallowed up in endless grief with no hope. We are also called in Romans 12:15 to “rejoice with those who rejoice.” There is a time for mourning, but there is also a time for dancing (Ecclesiastes 3:4). We share in the sorrow for a season, while pointing hurting souls to healing and joy again.
Paul’s exhortation to weep with those who weep reminds us of our bonds as members of the body of Christ. It calls us to be sensitive and compassionate, bearing one another’s burdens (Galatians 6:2). And it provides hurting people comfort, care and support in their darkest times of need.
1. Entering into the suffering of others
Weeping with others starts with making a deliberate choice to enter into their suffering instead of isolating them in their pain. It requires intentional vulnerability, availability, and empathy on our part.
Philippians 2:1-4 provides insight into how we can develop this kind of mindset: “If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”
To value others above ourselves requires humility. Their needs and hurts have to become more important to us than our own comfort. It means setting aside any selfishness or apathy in order to be fully present with their grief.
Choosing to enter in expresses tenderness, compassion, and unity with our brother or sister. As 1 Corinthians 12:25-26 states: “…there should be no division in the body, but…its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it.” When our brother weeps, we make that grief our own.
Walking alongside
The act of weeping with others also communicates that the mourner does not weep alone. We join them, walk alongside them, and carry the burden with them. They are not isolated in their pain.
In times of deep sorrow, we may not know what to say. Our presence can speak volumes more than words. Entering their suffering communicates shared pain and compassion that lifts the spirit of the grieving (Job 2:11-13).
This kind of empathetic support gives the mourner strength to keep walking one day at a time through the stages of grief. We let them know through our caring presence that they are not alone.
Following Jesus’ example
Jesus always had compassion for those who suffered. He was moved by the tears of others and willing to enter into their situations. For example, at the tomb of Lazarus Jesus was “deeply moved in spirit and troubled” and He wept along with the mourners (John 11:33-35).
We follow Jesus’ model when we see people’s pain, choose to be moved with compassion, and weep along with them. This kind of empathy characterized His ministry.
Jesus so fully entered into our human suffering that Hebrews 4:15-16 says, “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses…let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” Because Jesus experienced pain and grief on this earth, He is able to weep with us.
2. The blessing of shared grief
Entering into the mourning of others not only blesses and comforts them, it also builds unity between believers. Shared weeping draws hearts closer together in fellowship and compassion.
Deepened bonds
When we have wept together over loss, a powerful bond of shared experience develops. The open vulnerability and empathy we showed for each other’s pain deepens our care and concern in the relationship.
Think of the depth of connection you share with someone you walked alongside in their season of grief and mourning. When you’ve cried together, prayed together and suffered together, it cultivates compassion and loyalty between you.
Greater care
The experience of our brother weeping with us in our own grief teaches us the blessing of that empathy. It makes us more attentive and sensitive to the suffering of others.
Those who have been comforted in times of mourning remember what it meant to have others weep with them. In turn, they extend that same care to people they see hurting and in pain.
As 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 expresses, “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” The comfort of shared weeping equips us to comfort others.
Pointing to hope
Importantly, the empathy of weeping together through loss is not meant to remain only in the grief. True biblical mourning guides people through sorrow to joy again.
We “sorrow not as others who have no hope,” Paul wrote in 1 Thessalonians 4:13. Our weeping points ahead to the hope of resurrection and redemption. The one who mourns is never left alone in the darkness.
So while we weep with those who suffer now, we also affirm that this suffering is temporary. One day there will be a return of joy when all things are made new (Revelation 21:4-5). We help redirect their eyes to this eternal promise.
3. Practical application
Putting Romans 12:15 into practice will look different for each person depending on their sphere of influence and opportunities to care for others. Here are some ways to start weeping with those who weep:
- Cultivate compassion – Nurture a caring heart by looking for the hurting around you. Be sensitive to pain others might be quietly carrying and be ready to respond.
- Draw near – Physically go to the person in grief. Your presence can provide deep comfort. Be patient and available.
- Listen deeply – Allow them to share their heart, especially if they need to repeat themselves as part of the grieving process. Don’t feel you have to “fix it.”
- Offer practical help – Consider their needs during mourning like meals, childcare, rides, errands, etc. and sacrificially serve them in areas of lack.
- Be open to tears – Don’t be afraid of entering into their emotion. Tears can convey care and shared sorrow that words cannot.
- Pray together – Ask how you can pray for them. Hold their hand, cry out to God on their behalf, pleading for His comfort and peace.
- Follow up – Grief takes time, so check back in and walk with them through the processing. Don’t disappear after the funeral.
- Point to hope – Direct their eyes to eternity and remind them weeping lasts only a night while joy comes in the morning.
While seemingly counterintuitive to human nature, “weeping with those who weep” tangibly demonstrates Christ’s love. It enables us to be the hands, feet and overflowing heart of Jesus to the broken. Our tears water the hurting soul and help bear their pain.
4. Weeping with Jesus
Not only are Christians called to weep with other believers in their times of mourning, we are also invited to approach Jesus with our own tears and pain. He waits ready to receive our weeping.
Isaiah 53:3 describes Jesus as “a man of suffering, and familiar with pain.” He may no longer weep on this earth, but He invites us to come and weep into His merciful heart. Jesus intercedes for us with understanding, compassion, and healing grace.
Christ understands
The book of Hebrews tells us that Jesus is able to “sympathize with our weaknesses” because He was “tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin” (Hebrews 4:15). He lived on this painful, fallen earth. He experienced the spectrum of human emotions.
We can know that when we come weeping to Him, there is not a single aspect of our struggle or grief that He cannot understand. Jesus gets it. He knows our frailty and hurt by personal experience.
Jesus comforts the hurting
The Psalms are full of examples of pouring out tears and grief to God because He comforting presence. “Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him” (Psalm 34:8).
His goodness is a promise to the brokenhearted who come to Him. “The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18). We have a compassionate Savior waiting to lift us up if we will come to Him with vulnerability.
Hope is found in Christ
The blessing of being able to weep into the heart of Jesus is that He alone truly understands the depth of human pain. Yet He rose victorious over it all. In this world we will have trouble, but we can take heart because He has overcome the world (John 16:33).
Through faith in Christ, our weeping is transformed. We have a sure and steadfast hope that outshines all darkness. With Jesus, joy comes in the morning.
Romans 12:15 reminds us that as Christians we do not suffer alone. We enter into the grief of others in the body of Christ, while also finding comfort for our own tears in the arms of Jesus. He invites us to come and weep freely with Him.
5. Caution concerning unhealthy weeping
While Scripture definitely calls us to weep with those who are genuinely mourning, there are also cautions in God’s Word against unhealthy, excessive weeping that leads to ungodly despair.
Ecclesiastes 3 reminds us there is a “time to weep and a time to laugh” (verse 4). We are not meant to remain in a perpetual state of despair and hopelessness. Godly grief leads to joy and hope again.
Additionally, Romans 12:15 says we are to weep with others, not encourage them to wallow alone interminably in depression and self-pity. Our weeping should unite us in shared temporary grief, not chronic despondency.
Paul also warned against an excess of tears creating undue pressure and distress on others: “I wrote as I did, so that when I came I would not be distressed by those who should have made me rejoice. I had confidence in all of you, that you would all share my joy. For I wrote to you out of great distress and anguish of heart and with many tears, not to grieve you but to let you know the depth of my love for you” (2 Corinthians 2:3-4).
Healthy biblical mourning acknowledges the agonies of this fallen world, but does not remain stagnant there. It allows people to process loss in community and progress through grief into joyful hope again.
Weeping without hope
Those who do not know Jesus may become overwhelmed in grief, seeing no light at the end of the tunnel. As believers, we point them to the hope we have in Christ. We weep to help bear their burden, not succumb to hopelessness.
Paul described hopeless pagans who have no understanding of resurrection life and eternal redemption: “Do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope” (1 Thessalonians 4:13). Our weeping differs because it anticipates joy.
Depression and mental health
Prolonged, excessive weeping can sometimes be indicative of clinical depression or other mental health issues requiring counseling and medical help. Healthy mourning does process over time, but abiding despondency may need additional treatment.
The church should point those overwhelmed in darkness to professional help where needed, while continuing to provide spiritual and emotional support. God often works through both spiritual counsel and medical means.
Godly sorrow leads to joy
As Psalm 30:5 expresses, “Weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.” Godly grief recognizes that pain is temporary and necessary to experience God’s comfort. The night of tears gives way to joy.
We enter into the weeping of others to uplift, encourage, and point them to hope. Together we move through sorrow to God’s strength and redemption.
6. Conclusion
Weeping with those who weep conveys true compassion and care. Entering into the grief of others models Christ’s love in tangible ways they can feel. We get to be God’s comfort to the hurting.
This kind of empathetic mourning builds deep connections in the body of Christ. It fosters greater care and vulnerability with each other. When we weep together, we walk through the valleys hand in hand.
But weeping in God’s presence takes us to new heights. He lifts us up from despair into peace, hope and joy. The night of tears ushers in gladness. Weeping leads us to embrace the coming morning.
In times of mourning, how can you draw alongside others as Jesus does for you? Open your heart to truly enter into their pain. But also point them to redemption’s light. God’s strength shines brighter on the heels of our tears.