The Bible has a lot to say about abuse, as it deeply cares for the weak and vulnerable. Here is an overview of some of the key biblical principles regarding abuse:
1. Abuse is sinful and opposed to God’s character
The Bible makes it clear that God hates abuse and oppression. He defends the cause of the fatherless and the widow (Deuteronomy 10:18). Jesus said that whatever we do to “the least of these”, we do to him (Matthew 25:40). Abuse goes against God’s holy and loving character.
2. We are called to love others, not abuse them
Jesus commanded us to love one another as he has loved us (John 13:34). This rules out any form of abuse, which is the opposite of love. The apostle Paul said we should treat others as better than ourselves (Philippians 2:3). There is no justification for abusing others.
3. Abuse comes from the sinful nature, not the Spirit
The desires that fuel abuse are sinful desires of the flesh, not fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5:19-21). Things like hatred, discord, jealousy, and rage lead to abuse. The Holy Spirit empowers us to reject such sinful desires and walk in love.
4. Marriage is for mutual love and respect, not abuse
The Bible instructs husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25). Wives are called to submit to their husbands, but this is never a mandate to endure abuse. Marriage should involve mutual love, respect and sacrifice.
5. Parents must not provoke or abuse their children
While the Bible calls children to obey their parents, it warns fathers against provoking or abusing their children (Ephesians 6:4). Children are gifts to be cared for, not objects to fulfill selfish desires. Discipline should be restorative, not abusive.
6. Church leaders must not become abusive shepherds
Those in authority like pastors and elders are warned against heavy-handed leadership that abuses the flock (1 Peter 5:1-4). Church leaders are called to gently and sacrificially shepherd God’s people, not satisfy their ego or power.
7. Believers should expose and oppose abuse
The Bible tells believers to not only avoid abuse but also expose evil deeds (Ephesians 5:11). Followers of Jesus should shine light on abuse in appropriate ways, stand up for victims, and provide hope for the abused.
8. There is always hope for change and healing
For the abused and abusers, God offers hope. He hates sin but loves the sinner. Abusers can confess their sin and humbly seek to change. Abuse survivors can find comfort in God’s presence as they seek counseling and community support.
9. God promises justice for the abused
A day is coming when God will wipe away every tear and make all things new (Revelation 21:4-5). There will be no more pain or abuse. Until then, believers wait patiently on God’s perfect justice, pray for abusers to repent, and give hope to the abused.
Though abuse is far too common, it goes directly against God’s desires. He cares deeply for the abused and wants the church to fight against it. By leaning on God, believers can find power to identify and stop abuse, guide abusers to change through counseling or consequences, and provide healing to those who have suffered under its cruelty.
Abuse should never be tolerated. The church must become a place of refuge for abuse victims, an advocate for the vulnerable, and a loving but uncompromising voice calling abusers to repentance and restoration. Only through walking in the light, guided by Scripture and the Spirit, can we combat the darkness of abuse. There is hope for change, both for abusers and the abused, as God redeems what was meant for evil and uses it for good.
10. Old Testament examples of abuse
There are sobering examples of abuse in the Old Testament that illustrate how destructive it is. For example:
– Amnon raped his half-sister Tamar, shaming and discarding her after (2 Samuel 13).
– The Levite’s concubine was raped and murdered by wicked men (Judges 19).
– Daughters of Midian were captured and abused by Israelites until Moses intervened (Numbers 31:17-18).
– Ishmael mocked Isaac, his younger half-brother (Genesis 21:8-9).
– Joseph’s brothers hated him and sold him into slavery (Genesis 37).
These examples remind us how far abuse deviations from God’s ways. Whether physical, verbal, emotional or sexual, abuse in Scripture shows the tragic results of living apart from God’s love.
11. Jesus’ condemnation of abuse and oppression
Jesus consistently stood against abuse and oppression. He:
– Called out religious leaders who burdened people but failed to serve them (Matthew 23:4).
– Condemned those who swallowed up widows’ houses (Mark 12:38-40).
– Drove out merchants exploiting worshippers at the Temple (John 2:14-16).
– Criticized the man who beat his servants while waiting for his master’s return (Luke 12:42-48).
Jesus identified with and had compassion on the vulnerable and marginalized who were often targets of abuse. He came to set the oppressed free (Luke 4:18).
12. Warning against abuse of spiritual authority
There are stern warnings in the New Testament against spiritual leaders exploiting their authority:
– Peter said elders should serve willingly and lead by example, not become domineering (1 Peter 5:1-3).
– Paul said those in ministry should not peddle the word of God for profit (2 Corinthians 2:17).
– James said teachers incur a stricter judgment for stumbling others with their words (James 3:1).
Spiritual authority is to be used to lovingly build others up, not to self-serving ends that abuse those God entrusts to them.
13. Echoes of abuse in the early church
Unfortunately, echoes of abuse surface even in the early church:
– Ananias and Sapphira were struck down for deceiving the church (Acts 5:1-11).
– Some rich members of the Corinthian church were shaming poorer believers at the Lord’s Supper (1 Corinthians 11:17-22).
– Diotrephes refused to welcome believers and was rampantly accusing the apostle John (3 John 1:9-10).
Abuse can emerge anywhere, even the church. We must remain vigilant against it.
14. Restoring broken relationships
Where abuse has damaged relationships, the Bible gives hope for reconciliation and restoration:
– An abused person can choose to forgive, even if not reconciling (Matthew 6:14-15).
– An abuser should repent and seek forgiveness from the abused (Luke 17:3-4).
– Church members should facilitate healing for both victim and offender (2 Corinthians 5:18-19).
– With prayer and godly counsel, trust can be rebuilt over time (Psalm 147:3).
While victims should establish wise boundaries, God can miraculously heal what abuse has broken in His timing.
15. Our identity in Christ
Abuse victims often struggle with identity and worth. But Scripture says:
– We are loved by God and precious in His sight (Ephesians 2:4-10).
– No condemnation remains for those in Christ (Romans 8:1).
– We are being made new, day by day (2 Corinthians 4:16).
– God has prepared good works for us to walk in (Ephesians 2:10).
Rather than being defined by abuse, we are defined by whose we are in Christ. He will use our pain for a greater purpose.
16. Common forms of abuse addressed in Scripture
While not always called “abuse” explicitly, the Bible speaks to common forms of abuse we see today:
Physical abuse:
– Violence should have no place among God’s people (Psalm 11:5, Proverbs 3:31).
– Masters must not violently beat their slaves (Exodus 21:20-21, 26-27).
Sexual abuse:
– The sexual exploitation of children is condemned (Mark 9:42).
– Women were protected from sexual harassment (Deuteronomy 22:25-27).
Emotional abuse:
– Cruel words destroy rather than build up (Proverbs 15:1).
– Manipulation and threats have no place in love (1 Corinthians 13:4-7).
Spiritual abuse:
– Religious hypocrisy masks exploitation (Luke 11:46, Matthew 23:13-28).
– Abusive shepherds destroy rather than protect their sheep (Ezekiel 34:1-10).
Financial abuse:
– Defrauding and exploiting others in need is wrong (James 5:4).
– Usury shows no compassion for the poor (Exodus 22:25-27).
Neglect:
– Failing to care for the needy reflects lack of love (1 John 3:17).
– Neglecting to discipline children spoils them (Proverbs 13:24).
17. Principles for confronting abusers
Confronting abusers can be difficult, but Scripture provides principles:
– Approach with gentleness, not escalating abuse (Proverbs 15:1).
– Appeal to their conscience, don’t attack them (Matthew 7:3-5).
– If needed, confront publicly so others can help (Matthew 18:15-17).
– Set clear boundaries if they refuse to change (Romans 16:17).
– Focus on their behavior, not attacking their personhood (Ephesians 4:15).
– Be prepared to face hostility or denial (Luke 6:22-23).
– Speak the truth in love, relying on God for justice (Ephesians 4:15).
The goal remains hopeful restoration, with real change evidenced through repentance and repairing harm done.
18. God’s heart for reconciliation
Where abuse has damaged relationships, God moves toward reconciliation:
– An abused person can choose to forgive, even if trust isn’t fully restored (Matthew 6:14-15).
– An abuser should repent to both God and those abused (Luke 17:3-4).
– Fellow believers should facilitate healing for both victim and offender (2 Corinthians 5:18-19).
– The church should provide counseling and accountability for growth (James 5:16).
– With time, prayer and godly counsel, trust can be rebuilt (Psalm 147:3).
Reconciliation is a process, but God desires to bring beauty from ashes, using even abuse for good (Romans 8:28).
19. Hope and healing for victims
For abuse victims, God provides hope and healing:
– Abuse is never God’s will. He promises to be near to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18).
– While abuse causes deep wounds, God can heal all hurts in His time (Psalm 147:3).
– Turning to Christ offers acceptance and love that no person can provide (Romans 8:35-39).
– Counseling provides strategies for processing trauma in healthy ways.
– Support groups connect survivors who understand the unique journey.
– God is able to redeem what the enemy meant for evil (Genesis 50:20).
– There will come a day when God wipes away every tear (Revelation 21:4).
– Righteousness and justice will ultimately prevail (Psalm 37:5-6).
With God’s help, victims can reclaim their dignity, value and purpose.
20. Hope for change in abusers
For abusers, God’s grace offers hope for real change:
– Abusers must humbly acknowledge their sin, not rationalize it away (1 John 1:9).
– True repentance will lead to changed attitudes and behavior (Matthew 3:8).
– Submission to godly authority provides accountability and wisdom for growth (Titus 3:1-2).
– Abusers should make amends in appropriate ways without adding pressure (Luke 19:8).
– Establishing healthy boundaries helps guard against old patterns emerging (Proverbs 27:12).
– Ongoing counseling and support provides strategies for transformation.
– With God’s power, engrained habits can be replaced by righteous living (2 Corinthians 5:17).
– Genuine change happens gradually, requiring commitment and perseverance.
For abusers willing to walk this difficult road, God promises to complete the good work He began (Philippians 1:6).
21. Learning to value all people
The Bible makes clear that every human being has immeasurable worth:
– All people are made in God’s image and reflect His glory (Genesis 1:27).
– Jesus died for all people, showing all are precious to God (2 Peter 3:9).
– Believers are called to honor everyone and show impartiality (Romans 12:10, James 2:1).
– Human rankings and hierarchies have no place in God’s kingdom (Galatians 3:28).
– The way we treat the vulnerable reveals our love of God (Matthew 25:31-46).
– Each person’s gifts and potential should be valued (1 Corinthians 12:4-26).
– Respect and compassion should mark all relationships (Colossians 3:12-14).
Seeing and treating even enemies as made in God’s image reflects His radical love (Matthew 5:44-45).
22. Cultivating communities of care
Churches should strive to become communities that prevent and address abuse:
– Preach boldly against abuse from the pulpit as contrary to the gospel.
– Believe and support victims instead of covering up abuse.
– Foster a welcoming climate that encourages vulnerable people to seek help.
– Develop detailed child protection policies and procedures.
– Require training for those working with youth or counseling.
– Institute accountability procedures for leaders that allow anonymous reports of misconduct.
– Partner with professional counselors to assist victims in healing.
– Help abusers face the truth and seek counseling for rehabilitation.
– Counsel reconciliation when appropriate, with necessary boundaries, not hastily or unsafely.
– Surround both victims and offenders with support during the healing process.
– Pray fervently for God’s intervention and restoration in broken situations.
While not perfect, the church should lead the way in abuse prevention and care.
23. Longing for Christ’s return
The wearisome struggle against sin and abuse in this world fuels the Christian’s longing for Christ’s return when:
– God will wipe away every tear; death and mourning will be no more (Revelation 21:4).
– There will be no more curses of any kind (Revelation 22:3).
– The Lamb will be the light and temple of the new creation (Revelation 21:22-23).
– Kings and nations will walk by the light of the city of God (Revelation 21:24).
– The river of life will flow from God’s throne (Revelation 22:1).
– The tree of life will flourish and heal the nations (Revelation 22:2-3).
– The saints will reign with Christ forever (Revelation 22:5).
Maranatha! Come Lord Jesus! (Revelation 22:20)
24. Learning to love as God loves
Combating the darkness of abuse requires learning to love as God loves:
– With a fierce and protective love for the vulnerable (Proverbs 31:8-9).
– With a receptive heart that listens more than speaks (James 1:19).
– With boundaries that set captive and captor alike free (Galatians 6:1-2).
– With courage that confronts evil even at personal risk (Ephesians 5:11).
– With a humility that confesses its own potential for sin (Matthew 7:3-5).
– With insight that recognizes institutional strongholds (Ephesians 6:12).
– With hope that believes transformation is possible (Luke 15:20-24).
– With patience that endures longsuffering (James 5:10-11).
– With wisdom that applies truths gracefully (Colossians 4:5-6).
– With an embrace wide enough to hold both justice and grace (Psalm 85:10).
Only God’s agape love can truly overcome evil with good (Romans 12:21).
25. Our source of help and hope
In the struggle against the darkness of abuse, God Himself is our source of hope and help:
– He is our rock, fortress and deliverer in times of trouble (Psalm 18:2).
– His Spirit empowers us to walk in light not darkness (Romans 13:12).
– He is close to the brokenhearted and rescues the crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:18).
– He is compassionate and just, hearing the cries of the abused (Exodus 22:21-24).
– He gives strength to the weary and power to the weak (Isaiah 40:29-31).
– He comforts us so we can comfort others with His comfort (2 Corinthians 1:3-4.)
– He forgives, restores and redeems whatever the enemy intends for evil (Genesis 50:20).
– He will one day wipe away every tear and make all things new (Revelation 21:4-5).
Our present sufferings cannot compare with the hope and glory to come (Romans 8:18).
