Phileo love refers to brotherly love or friendship love. It comes from the Greek word philia which means affectionate regard or friendship. In the Bible, phileo love is contrasted with agape love. Agape is unconditional, selfless love, like the love God has for us. Phileo is a mutual, reciprocal love between friends or family members.
Phileo love involves strong feelings of warmth and affection towards another person. It’s the type of love that develops out of shared experiences, interests, feelings and time spent together. There is an emotional bond between people with phileo love. They care deeply for each other and desire the best for one another.
Examples of phileo love in the Bible include the love between David and Jonathan (1 Samuel 18:1), the affectionate regard Paul had for the members of the Christian churches he established (Philippians 1:8), and Jesus’ love for Lazarus whom he called his friend (John 11:3,11).
While agape love is unconditional, phileo love depends on mutual feelings and shared interests. It’s based on fondness, whereas agape love doesn’t require liking the person or gaining anything in return. Phileo love involves give and take, but agape love gives without expecting anything back.
Phileo love is an emotional connection you have with someone you enjoy spending time with. Agape love persists no matter what the circumstances. Agape love is rooting for the other person’s highest good regardless of whether you get along.
The Bible tells us to have agape love even for our enemies (Matthew 5:44). But phileo love depends on mutual affection. You can agape love someone who doesn’t return your feelings, but phileo love requires reciprocation.
Phileo love comes more naturally to us because it’s based on attachment. We phileo those similar to us and those who treat us well. Agape love requires us to put aside our preferences and unselfishly love others through God’s power and for His glory.
When Jesus asked Peter if he had agape love for Him, using the word agape, Peter kept responding that he had phileo love, using the word phileo (John 21:15-17). This shows that although Peter had strong brotherly affection for Jesus, he hadn’t yet fully attained the agape love Jesus has for us.
The close bond between good friends is an example of phileo love. But God calls us to agape love even our enemies because it reflects His gracious love for us when we were still sinners and His enemies (Romans 5:8, 10).
Phileo love is not wrong, but it’s imperfect compared to the agape love which comes from God (1 John 4:7-8). God wants us to have phileo love for our Christian brothers and sisters, but also to agape love those outside the faith.
The early Christians were known for their agape love. They loved across social and ethnic barriers, loving those entirely unlike them (Galatians 3:28). This agape love showed the power of the Gospel at work in them.
Phileo love tends to be exclusive, loving those like us and avoiding those different from us. God calls us to a higher love that crosses divides. Agape love sees each person as made in God’s image and worthy of care, regardless of their response.
Jesus combined phileo and agape when He called us not just His servants, but His friends (John 15:15). Through Christ, we can have friendship with God Himself (James 2:23). He has phileo love and agape love for us.
The affectionate care of phileo love is a blessing, but God’s perfect agape love is even greater. His love never fails, bears all things, and endures forever (1 Corinthians 13:7-8). This agape love comes from God who is love (1 John 4:8).
The Bible calls us to show both phileo and agape love. We need the affectionate fellowship of phileo love between Christian brothers and sisters. But we also need the unconditional agape love to witness to the lost and love those hostile to the Gospel.
Agape love should be the mark of believers, reflecting the sacrificial love of Christ. It’s a selfless, voluntary love that cares for the other person’s highest good. This agape love comes from God and demonstrates His love through us.
Phileo love develops through natural affection and common interests. But agape love requires supernatural empowerment to love across barriers. It goes against our sinful nature’s tendency toward selfishness and loving only those who love us back.
God commands us to love one another as He has loved us (John 13:34). This is agape love – gracious, merciful, forgiving. It’s a sacrificial, selfless commitment to another’s wellbeing, regardless of the cost or reciprocation.
The Bible gives us a profound vision of love. God doesn’t just call us to phileo love for those we’re fond of, who love us back. He calls us to agape – to love the unlovely, love those hostile to us, and keep loving even when it’s tough.
The combination of phileo and agape love fulfills what God designed human relationships to be. We need affectionate bonds with family and friends. But we also need agape love to follow Jesus’ example of embracing those very different from us.
Paul prayed that the Philippian church would overflow with love for one another through the knowledge of Christ (Philippians 1:9). As we grow closer to God, He pours agape love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit (Romans 5:5).
This love comes from God, not ourselves. We can’t manufacture agape love without God’s help. We rely on Him to give us supernatural strength to love others unconditionally, the way He loves us.
The Bible makes it clear that without love, even spiritual gifts and good deeds profit nothing (1 Corinthians 13:1-3). We can serve God dutifully, but only with agape love will it have eternal impact. Love is the “most excellent way” and the true mark of spiritual maturity (1 Corinthians 12:31).
Phileo love develops through natural human affection. Agape love requires God’s supernatural enablement to selflessly love those we find unpleasant or offensive. It goes against our sinful nature, but glorifies God.
Jesus didn’t just teach His disciples to love one another. He washed their feet, taking on the role of a servant (John 13:1-17). He calls us to follow His example of humble, sacrificial love even for those who oppose us.
The Bible gives us a vision of love that overcomes hostility and rejection with selfless service. When Jesus was nailed to the cross by people He loved, He prayed, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34). This is the power of agape love.
By pursuing phileo love alone, we limit our capacity to reflect Christ’s love. God wants us to open our hearts to a greater love – one that lays down personal rights and serves the undeserving. This agape love comes from above and expresses God’s heart.
The early church multiplied rapidly because the believers’ agape love got the attention of the pagan world (Acts 2:42-47). Their uncommon love reflected the heart of God. This same agape love empowers our witness today.
Jesus said people would recognize His disciples by their love – not just for each other but even for their enemies (John 13:35, Matthew 5:44). Agape love gives powerful evidence of the Gospel’s ability to change hearts.
Phileo love develops through natural human connection. But God calls us to more – to His supernatural agape that enables us to love the unlovely and unworthy. This love reflects God’s unconditional grace.
Without agape love, obeying God’s commands becomes joyless legalism. We may serve Him out of obligation, but it lacks the power to draw others to Christ. Agape love brings 1 Corinthians 13 virtues into our service – patience, kindness, humility.
God wired us for human phileo affection, but we must embrace agape love to fully reflect Christ. His love wasn’t conditional on being treated well or loved in return. He calls us to love others sacrificially for their highest joy in Him.
The Bible gives us a breathtaking vision of love. Jesus showed us the fullness of agape by laying down His life for us while we were still His enemies (Romans 5:8,10). He calls us to follow His example of loving the unlovely and unworthy.
Without agape love, we become judgmental and prideful. We begin seeing people as projects instead of cherished children of God. We start viewing people based on their sin rather than their identity in Christ. Agape guards us against this.
Phileo love comes instinctively for family or friends. But agape goes against our nature, enabling us to love those hostile to us and see others through Christ’s eyes. It’s a supernatural, unconditional commitment to another’s wellbeing.
The Bible makes it clear that agape love is the greatest virtue and the distinguishing mark of Jesus’ disciples (1 Corinthians 13, John 13:35). This selfless, sacrificial love reflects Christ’s love that willingly endured pain to bring us salvation.
The Gospel is a story of extravagant agape. While we were still sinners, Christ died for us (Romans 5:8). This love of God compels us to live no longer for ourselves, but for Him (2 Corinthians 5:14-15). He calls us to reflect His grace.
Without agape, our faith lacks Christlike compassion. We become quick to judge and slow to understand. But agape empowers patience, kindness, humility – treating others as precious in God’s sight despite their sin.
The Bible gives us a countercultural vision of love. It calls us higher than exclusionary phileo love only for those like us. God commands us to agape – an unconditional love that crosses divides and sacrificially serves.
Jesus showed the meaning of agape by laying down His life out of love for us. While hanging on the cross, He prayed for God to forgive those crucifying Him (Luke 23:34). This supernatural love empowers our witness.
Phileo love depends on mutual fondness. When people treat us poorly, phileo can turn to resentment. But God commands us to agape – to keep loving and doing good even when rejected. This love points people to Christ.
Without agape, we evaluate others selfishly – how they benefit us, whether they return our love. But agape seeks the other’s highest joy in Christ. It lays aside selfishness and loves unconditionally the way God loves us.
The Bible makes clear that agape love should be the distinguishing mark of believers, setting us apart from the world (John 13:35). This is no ordinary love – it’s God’s supernatural love flowing through us by the Spirit’s power.
Phileo love comes naturally, but agape love goes against our sinful nature. It requires God’s power to love those hostile to us. When we love purely by our own strength, we will falter. God calls us to depend on Him for agape love.
The Bible warns that knowledge and spiritual gifts without agape love are worthless (1 Corinthians 13:2). We can be busy in ministry without love, but gain nothing. Only with agape love do our acts of service have eternal significance.
Jesus’ life embodied agape to the fullest. He told His disciples the night before the cross that the greatest love is laying down your life for your friends (John 15:13). Then He showed this love by dying for us while we were still sinners.
Phileo says, “I love you because you love me.” Agape says, “I love you because God loves you.” Phileo responds to the deserving. Agape reaches out to the undeserving with mercy. This agape love comes from God and reflects His grace.
The Bible makes clear that agape love should be the mark of every believer. It’s a sacrificial commitment to someone’s highest joy in Christ, even at personal cost. This is the love that shows the world we belong to Jesus.
Without agape, we become arrogant, prideful, impatient with people’s weaknesses. But God’s love gives us humility and grace. It sees others through eyes of compassion, as fallen image bearers needing God’s redemptive grace just like us.
Phileo love depends on mutual fondness. But God calls us to agape love that persists loving despite rejection. This is Christlike love – the love that endured scorn and brutality without retaliation but instead prayed for offenders.
Jesus told His disciples that the world would know they were His followers by their love – not just for each other but even for enemies (John 13:35, Matthew 5:44). This agape love gives powerful evidence of the Gospel’s power to transform hearts.
The Bible makes clear that love must be sincere, unconditional, and all-encompassing (Romans 12:9, 1 Corinthians 13:4-7). This agape love comes from God and exemplifies His graciousness. It’s the greatest virtue because it makes us like Christ.
Without agape love, obeying God’s commands becomes mechanical and lifeless. We need God’s love in our hearts to serve joyfully, treat others with patience and kindness, and freely forgive others as God forgave us.
Jesus showed us the full meaning of agape love by sacrificing Himself on the cross for our salvation while we were still His enemies. He calls us to demonstrate this same humble, sacrificial love that persistently seeks others’ greatest joy in Him.
The Bible warns that eloquent preaching and even self-sacrifice gain nothing without agape love (1 Corinthians 13:1-3). Only when empowered by God’s love do our deeds gain eternal value. His love must be the motive driving our service.
Phileo love comes naturally, but agape goes against human nature. We can’t muster it in our own strength. Only through dependence on Christ can we receive God’s supernatural love that empowers us to keep loving despite rejection.
The Bible gives us a breathtaking vision of love. While we were still His enemies, Christ endured the cross to save us (Romans 5:6-10). While being crucified, He prayed for God to forgive those killing Him (Luke 23:34). This is agape.
Without agape love, we evaluate others selfishly – how they benefit us, whether they return our affection. But God’s love seeks the highest joy of others in Christ, even at personal cost. Agape love comes from the Spirit within.
Phileo says, “I love you if you love me.” Agape says, “I love you because God loves you.” Phileo responds only to those deserving love. But agape reaches out in love to the undeserving, reflecting God’s grace.
The Bible calls believers to live lives marked by agape love, which identifies us as followers of Christ (John 13:35). This selfless, sacrificial love shows Jesus’ transforming power through acts of humble service, patience and kindness.
Human phileo affection falls short of God’s perfect agape that loved us even while we were unworthy sinners. But Christ’s redemption makes agape possible, enabling us to love others not because they deserve it but because He first loved us.
The Bible makes clear that agape love, flowing from the Holy Spirit within us, is essential for spiritual maturity (Galatians 5:22, 1 Corinthians 13). Without agape empowering our deeds, even noble acts profit nothing. Love is the most excellent way.
Jesus showed the greatest agape by laying down His life for us out of love while we were still His enemies (John 15:13, Romans 5:8). This sacrificial love empowers our service, our relationships, our words, and our thoughts to align with God’s heart.
While hanging in agony on the cross, Jesus prayed for God to forgive those crucifying Him (Luke 23:34). This supernatural agape love enabled Him to show grace to those causing His suffering. We need this same love.
The Bible calls us to more than exclusive phileo love for those similar to us. We must embrace agape that crosses divides, loves enemies, and gives sacrificially without requiring reciprocation. This love comes from God.
Without agape love, we lack Christlike compassion and patience. We’re quick to judge flaws in others without humility and grace to recognize our own need for mercy. God’s love forms His heart of kindness in us toward others.
Phileo love forms through natural human affection and attachment. Agape love goes against our sinful nature, requiring God’s supernatural power to love those hostile to us. This is the love that shows we are truly Jesus’ disciples.
