Diotrephes is a man mentioned briefly in 3 John 1:9-10 as someone who loves to be first, refuses to welcome the brothers, stops those who want to welcome them, and expels people from the church. Not much else is known about Diotrephes outside of this short mention, but he serves as an example of someone who places himself and his own status above others in the church.
Here is the passage in 3 John that mentions Diotrephes:
I have written something to the church, but Diotrephes, who likes to put himself first, does not acknowledge our authority. So if I come, I will bring up what he is doing, talking wicked nonsense against us. And not content with that, he refuses to welcome the brothers, and also stops those who want to and puts them out of the church.
Based on this, here are some key things we can gather about Diotrephes:
- He liked to be first and put himself first above others.
- He refused to acknowledge the authority of the apostle John and likely others.
- He spoke badly about John and spread wicked nonsense.
- He refused to welcome other believers into the church.
- He stopped others in the church who wanted to welcome these brothers.
- He expelled people from the church who opposed him.
So in summary, Diotrephes appears to have been someone who promoted himself and his own selfish agenda in the church, pushed others down to lift himself up as number one, refused apostolic authority, slandered church leaders, and actively opposed biblical hospitality and Christian unity by rejecting other believers and expelling those who challenged him.
John says that if he comes to the church himself, he will confront and deal with what Diotrephes is doing in undermining the church and acting wickedly against other Christians. But beyond this mention, we don’t know exactly what church Diotrephes was leading or how John confronted him. Some key insights though:
- Diotrephes provides a negative example of pride, selfish ambition, and division in the church.
- His actions stood directly opposed to Jesus’ teachings about humility, sacrifice, and loving one another.
- He valued his own power and status over the unity of the church and welfare of its members.
- He is a sobering example of how Satan can use selfish pride to divide Christians against each other.
- Diotrephes reminds us to guard our hearts against pride and self-promotion which often leads to conflict.
Diotrephes’ Love of First Place
The central characteristic attributed to Diotrephes in 3 John 9 is that he “loves to be first.” This suggests that he had an inordinate love of prestige, prominence, and power. He wanted to be the most important person in the church, with all attention and esteem flowing to himself. This is in direct contradiction to Jesus Christ’s teaching that “whoever would be first among you must be slave of all” (Mark 10:44).
Diotrephes seems to have been motivated by selfish ambition rather than selfless service. His goal was personal exaltation rather than the upbuilding of the Body of Christ. He viewed the church as a platform for elevating his own status, not as a mission to humbly serve alongside other believers for the glory of God.
This pride and vanity led Diotrephes to undermine anyone he perceived as a threat to his position of first place in the church. He rejected the authority of the Apostle John, expelled church members who disagreed with him, turned people away from the church, and used slander and false accusations to protect his status. Rather than value each person as a fellow brother or sister in Christ, he viewed them as rivals and pawns to maintain his power.
Diotrephes’ negative example serves as a warning about the corruption that can take root when someone allows a love of status, control, and public acclaim to rule their hearts rather than a love for God and neighbor. His story reminds church leaders to carefully examine their motives and not lead out of selfish ambition or a hunger for recognition. Even good theology or doctrine is corrupted when mixed with pride.
Refusing to Welcome the Brothers
One of the chief sins attributed to Diotrephes in 3 John is that he “refuses to welcome the brothers.” In the context of the early church, “brothers” likely refers to traveling missionaries, preachers, and teachers who relied on the hospitality of local congregations.
Diotrephes refused to extend hospitality to these visiting brothers in Christ and turned them away from the church. He directly disobeyed Jesus’ teaching in Matthew 25:35, “For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me.”
In ancient near-eastern cultures, welcoming strangers and showing hospitality were considered among the highest virtues. But Diotrephes subverted these cherished values out of selfish pride and desire for power. He did not want to share authority in “his” church with these visiting teachers, even though they were fellow brothers in Christ.
By rejecting biblical hospitality, Diotrephes revealed his lack of love. He prioritized his status over compassionately serving those in need of food, shelter, and Christian fellowship. His heart was closed off to outsiders who did not benefit him personally.
As Christians, we must guard against the example of Diotrephes by loving strangers as ourselves (Luke 10:27) and practicing hospitality ungrudgingly (1 Peter 4:9). We should graciously receive those whom God sends our way rather than reject them out of selfish concerns. Our churches should be open and welcoming to all who come in the name of Christ.
Stopping and Expelling from the Church
Diotrephes not only rejected the traveling brothers himself but also stopped others in the church who wanted to show them hospitality. When church members desired to welcome these strangers, Diotrephes intervened to prevent them from doing so. He commanded the church according to his own selfish preferences rather than guiding them in the compassion of Christ.
Diotrephes also put people out of the church who stood in opposition to his teaching and methods. Rather than humbly discussing dissenting viewpoints from church members, Diotrephes expelled those who disagreed with him. He ruled by control and threats rather than by the Holy Spirit and the Word of God.
By instilling fear and using manipulation to demand conformity, Diotrephes revealed himself to be operating mostly out of fleshly desires rather than the fruit of the Spirit. This attitude grieved the heart of God and quenched the works He desired to do in the church.
Church leaders must be vigilant not to emulate the ways of Diotrephes. As Hebrews 13:17 says, leaders will give an account to God for how they shepherded His flock. Heavy-handed control and demands for unquestioning allegiance often signal that a leader is operating more from personal insecurity than humble confidence in Christ.
Pride Goes Before Destruction
The brief portrait of Diotrephes in 3 John presents a sobering lesson on the destructive consequences of unchecked pride. This church leader allowed selfish ambition to rule his heart, likely justified every trespass as necessary for the good of the church, and refused to submit to correction from biblical authorities. If he had persisted in this state, Scripture makes clear where it leads:
“Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.” (Proverbs 16:18)
But while Diotrephes in his arrogance failed to welcome fellow believers, the Apostle John sets forth Jesus Christ as the ultimate model of humility and service:
“…though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men.” (Philippians 2:6-7)
Where Diotrephes only lifted himself up, Christ willing lowered Himself to take the form of a servant obedient even to death on a cross (Philippians 2:8). This is the pattern for Christian leaders to follow.
The combined message is clear: flee from the example of Diotrephes’ pride and self-exaltation. Instead, embrace the humility of Christ who valued every person as made in the image of God. Choose to serve rather than grasping for status. And walk in love by welcoming the stranger as Christ Himself.
Guarding Against Diotrephes’ Example
Although not much biographical information is given in Scripture about Diotrephes, his brief appearance serves as a warning on several important points:
- Beware the leaven of the Pharisees – trying to establish our own righteousness rather than submitting to Christ’s righteousness.
- Reject selfish ambition that seeks personal recognition rather than God’s glory.
- Do not lord authority over others as the Gentiles do; instead become servant of all out of love.
- Avoid slander, gossip, and malicious talk – speak truth in love.
- Never let pride in “my” ministry replace humble service in “our” church.
- Do not close your heart to those different from yourself; show hospitality.
- Embrace accountability from biblical authorities placed over you.
As the early church encountered those following in the way of Diotrephes, the Apostle Paul urged discretion: “Avoid such people” (Romans 16:17-18). This requires spiritual discernment to identify wolves masquerading among the sheep.
But while avoiding harmful influences, our approach with those deceived by their own pride should be longsuffering and gentle. Paul writes:
“The Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will.” (2 Timothy 2:24-26)
So although leaders like Diotrephes must be confronted and their harmful actions stopped, our hope and prayer is ultimately for their repentance and restoration to Christ’s example of self-giving love.
Conclusion
In conclusion, while the Bible does not provide extensive details, we know enough about Diotrephes to learn from his negative example. His love of preeminence among the church resulted in rejecting apostolic authority, slandering other leaders, refusing hospitality, prohibiting care for traveling ministers, and expelling those who disagreed with him from church fellowship. This stemmed from unchecked pride and selfish ambition in his heart.
But Scripture exhorts us to instead model Christ’s profound humility and self-sacrifice for the sake of others. As church leaders and members, we must guard diligently against the spirit of Diotrephes by embracing servant leadership, adhering to biblical truths, sharing Christ-like love, and bearing with one another in gentleness, patience and kindness for God’s glory.
