This is a complex question that Christians have wrestled with for centuries. There are good arguments on both sides of the issue. Ultimately, one’s view comes down to how one interprets certain biblical passages about divorce and remarriage. This article will walk through the key biblical texts, the different positions Christians have taken, and the rationale behind those positions.
What Does the Bible Say About Divorce and Remarriage?
There are several passages in both the Old and New Testaments that address divorce and remarriage. We’ll summarize the most relevant ones here:
Deuteronomy 24:1-4
This passage gives instructions for a man who divorces his wife, she remarries and then is divorced again or widowed. It says the first husband cannot take her back as his wife again after she has been “defiled.” This indicates that divorce and remarriage were practices permitted under the Mosaic Law.
Matthew 5:31-32
Jesus states that divorce causes a spouse to commit adultery when they remarry. The only exception he gives is marital unfaithfulness. This is part of Jesus’ teaching that God’s standards for marriage are higher than what was allowed under the Mosaic Law.
“It was also said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.” (Matthew 5:31-32, ESV)
Matthew 19:3-9
When asked about divorce, Jesus replies that Moses only permitted it because of hard hearts. But he teaches that God designed marriage to be permanent and only broken by death. Again, the only exception he gives is marital unfaithfulness.
“And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.” (Matthew 19:9, ESV)
1 Corinthians 7:10-16
The apostle Paul answers questions the Corinthian church asked him about marriage and divorce between believers. He echoes Jesus’ teaching that spouses should not divorce. But if they do, they must either remain unmarried or be reconciled. Paul gives permission for divorce in cases when an unbelieving spouse abandons the marriage.
“To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband 11 (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife.” (1 Corinthians 7:10-11, ESV)
1 Timothy 3:2,12 and Titus 1:6
In Paul’s letters to Timothy and Titus, he lays out qualifications for overseers and deacons. One is that they must be “the husband of one wife.” This phrase has been interpreted in different ways historically in regard to divorce and remarriage.
So in summary, the Bible speaks to the topics of divorce and remarriage in both the Old Testament and teachings of Jesus and Paul. With that background, we can look at the different positions Christians take on whether a remarried man can serve in church leadership.
Position 1: Divorced and Remarried Men Are Completely Prohibited from Church Leadership
This view basically states that there are no exceptions for a man married to a divorced woman to serve in leadership. Supporters of this position point to the following:
- Jesus only permitted divorce in cases of adultery, so remarriage after any other kind of divorce is continual adultery.
- 1 Timothy 3 and Titus 1 say an overseer or deacon must be above reproach and the husband of one wife. A remarried man does not meet this requirement.
- Church leaders are supposed to model sacrificial marriage covenant. Remarrying after divorce does not reflect this ideal.
- Allowing remarried leaders sends the wrong message about God’s standards for marriage and divorce.
This view essentially sees all remarriage after divorce as adultery. So anyone in that situation cannot serve in leadership, period. There are no exceptions or circumstances that would allow it. Proponents argue this is the only position which upholds the Bible’s high standards for marriage and leadership.
Strengths of This View
There are a few strengths to this position:
- It takes Jesus’ teachings on divorce seriously by not making any exceptions.
- It promotes high standards for marriage and upholds its permanence.
- It avoids potential complications of trying to determine which situations might allow remarried leaders.
Weaknesses of This View
There are also some weaknesses with this view:
- It can be seen as harsh and legalistic, not accounting for pastoral realities like abuse, abandonment or changed lives after divorce.
- It precludes the possibility of restored sinners serving in leadership.
- The modern concept of marriage and divorce is very different than the ancient world, so applying “adultery” may not be as simple as it seems.
- It relies on a specific interpretation of “husband of one wife” that is debatable.
Position 2: Divorced and Remarried Men Can Serve in Limited Circumstances
This view agrees that the Bible promotes high standards for marriage and restricts divorce. But it allows some exceptions for remarried men to serve in leadership. Circumstances vary among those who hold this view. Some examples include:
- Divorce happened before conversion.
- Former spouse committed adultery or abandoned the marriage.
- Divorce took place under biblical grounds of adultery/abandonment.
- Time and repentance have demonstrated changed character and devotion to marriage.
This position argues that while God’s ideal is permanent marriage, the Bible recognizes that sinful human realities happen. So grace and restoration can open leadership service in certain situations. Let’s examine some strengths and weaknesses of this view.
Strengths of This View
Here are some benefits supporters point to:
- It balances taking marriage seriously while allowing for grace and changed lives after divorce.
- It seems more pastorally sensitive to complex human realities.
- It allows for the possibility of sinners being restored to leadership after repentance and forgiveness.
- It recognizes divorce/remarriage before conversion as categorically different.
Weaknesses of This View
Some potential weaknesses include:
- It can be seen as compromising on biblical standards for marriage and divorce.
- It risks setting up a “slippery slope” of making more and more exceptions.
- It requires subjectively determining which cases “count” as allowable exceptions.
- It can send mixed messages about God’s standards for marriage and divorce.
Position 3: Divorced and Remarried Men Can Serve After Circumstances Are Weighed
A third perspective agrees that the Bible honors the permanence of marriage. But it argues that categorical prohibition goes beyond biblical teaching. This view states that each situation should be evaluated individually based on the circumstances. Some factors often considered include:
- Evidence of repentance and desire for faithfulness
- Whether divorce and remarriage happened before or after conversion
- Circumstances surrounding the divorce
- If grounds were biblical
- Public reputation and character over time
- Perspectives of church members
This position sees divorce as incredibly serious. But it avoids blanket prohibition in all cases. It calls for wisdom in assessing how individuals’ lives have unfolded.
Strengths of This View
Some strengths of this perspective include:
- It accounts for complex human realities and allows grace for sinful failures.
- It focuses more on present character and reputation than past failures.
- It allows the possibility of restored sinners serving in leadership.
- It emphasizes each situation being evaluated on its own merits.
Weaknesses of This View
Some potential downsides are:
- It could be seen as weakening marriage by making too many exceptions.
- It risks inconsistency in how situations are evaluated.
- It puts pressure on leaders to determine which cases warrant exceptions.
- It could open the door to lowering biblical standards over time.
Reflections on These Perspectives
As we can see, there are good-faith arguments on both sides of this issue. Here are a few key reflections to keep in mind as we wrestle with applying biblical teaching:
- Marriage matters greatly. Scripture repeatedly affirms the goodness of marriage and the covenant faithfulness it requires. This must be upheld in our teaching and practice.
- Divorce is incredibly serious. Jesus and Scripture authors warn in stark terms about the spiritual danger of divorce for reasons other than adultery. This should deeply humble all with influence in the church.
- But grace abounds. The Bible shows God patiently working through sinful humans, sometimes using deeply flawed people in leadership. This scandalous grace must shape our responses.
- Wisdom and discernment are needed. Simple yes/no answers may not account for pastoral realities. Seeking what honors Scripture while showing grace is the difficult but important task.
- Context influences application. Our modern context differs enormously from the ancient world of the Bible. Wise application accounts for this, while holding to unchanging biblical principles.
- Higher standards for leaders make sense. The Bible rightly expects those in authority to exemplify the highest ideals of Christian faith. But even leaders fail and require grace.
- No perfect resolutions exist. Humility and continued study are required. We must hold to convictions, but recognize that godly Christians interpret and apply Scripture differently on secondary issues.
Application Will Involve Tension
Putting this biblical teaching into practice involves significant tensions:
- Upholding the Bible’s high view of marriage vs. extending grace
- Accountability for leaders vs. recognition of human failure
- Honoring God’s ideal vs. responding to complex situations
- Seeking purity/holiness vs. hope for restored sinners
Navigating these tensions well requires prayer, study, communal discernment, and Spirit-led wisdom. It means striving for biblical fidelity and grace. With any conclusion, humility is key. Well-meaning Christians interpret Scripture differently here. We must continue pursuing truth while acting in love.
3 Biblical Principles for Application
Let’s explore three biblical principles that can help inform our application of Scripture in this area:
1. Hold Marriage in the Highest Regard
The Bible consistently elevates marriage. Genesis teaches marriage is a holy union between one man and woman (Genesis 2:24). Passages like Song of Solomon extol marital love and intimacy. Jesus performed his first miracle at a wedding and highlighted marriage’s sanctity when questioned about divorce. Scripture commands spouses to sacrificially love each other (Ephesians 5:25-33). Husbands and wives model Christ’s relationship with the church.
This high biblical view of marriage must shape church practice. Our teaching and policies should honor marriage. Divorce must be taken seriously. At the same time, grace and restoration when failures occur are also crucial Christian values.
2. Approach Divorce and Remarriage With Wisdom and Discernment
Human realities around divorce and remarriage are far messier than we prefer. Simple application of a few proof texts fails to account for this complexity. Biblical wisdom requires evaluating each situation’s unique circumstances.
If divorce or remarriage occurred before conversion, greater grace makes sense. If marriages ended due to abandonment or unrepentant sin of a spouse, that likely shifts considerations. Did individuals earnestly seek reconciliation? Does time demonstrate repentance and faithfulness? These discernments are difficult but important.
3. Seek Unity in Primary Doctrine, Grace in Secondary Matters
Scripture explicitly prohibits some behaviors for leaders, like greed or dishonesty. But reasonable Christians differ in applying texts about divorce and remarriage. This likely qualifies as a “disputable matter” where grace should prevail (Romans 14:1).
Churches manifest unity when we agree on primary doctrines but extend grace on secondary issues. Of course, marriage’s sanctity is a vital biblical principle. But how divorce and remarriage affect one’s capacity to lead involves some subjectivity. Unity despite diversity results when we recognize this complexity.
Conclusion
In summary, this issue requires sincerely wrestling with competing biblical values—upholding marriage, restricting divorce, showing grace, and restoring sinners. While Bible passages touching on divorce and leadership qualifications exist, applying them today is not always simple.
Seeking to honor God’s Word and Spirit with humility, wisdom and compassion should define our approach. There may be no perfect conclusions that fully resolve the tensions. But if we strive for fidelity and grace, God receives the glory when the church reflects him in ever-increasing ways.
