Relationships are an important part of the human experience. As Christians, we believe that all relationships should be centered around God’s love and guided by biblical principles. Here is some Christian relationship advice on various topics:
Choosing a Partner
When looking for a romantic partner, it’s important to find someone who shares your faith and values. “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” (2 Corinthians 6:14). Pray for wisdom and discernment when dating and getting to know potential partners. Look for someone who exhibits the fruits of the spirit – “love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control” (Galatians 5:22-23). Be equally yoked spiritually.
It’s also important to find someone you’re physically attracted to – “Drink water from your own cistern, running water from your own well” (Proverbs 5:15). However, don’t let physical attraction cloud your judgment or cause you to compromise your values.
Communication
Communication is key in any healthy relationship. “An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up” (Proverbs 12:25). Speak to your partner with kindness, patience and understanding. Avoid yelling, name-calling or hurtful speech. “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen” (Ephesians 4:29).
Be open and honest in your communication – “Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor” (Ephesians 4:25). Listen attentively when your partner is speaking. “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak” (James 1:19).
Managing Conflict
Disagreements are inevitable, even in healthy relationships. “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love” (Ephesians 4:2). When conflict arises, try to remain calm. Don’t yell or react in anger. “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry” (James 1:19).
Take time to understand your partner’s perspective. “He who answers before listening– that is his folly and his shame” (Proverbs 18:13). Work together to find a peaceful compromise or solution. “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God” (Matthew 5:9). Be quick to forgive. “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you” (Colossians 3:13).
Intimacy and Sex
God created sex to be enjoyed inside a marriage relationship. “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral” (Hebrews 13:4). Avoid sexual activity before marriage. “Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body” (1 Corinthians 6:18).
Within marriage, be generous and attentive to your partner’s needs. “The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband” (1 Corinthians 7:3). Keep your focus on your spouse rather than unrealistic expectations from media or pornography. “I have made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a young woman” (Job 31:1).
Managing Finances
Finances can be a major source of conflict, so discuss budgets, spending habits, saving goals, and attitudes about money early on. “The wise store up choice food and olive oil, but fools gulp theirs down” (Proverbs 21:20). Live within your means. “Be sure you know the condition of your flocks, give careful attention to your herds” (Proverbs 27:23). Avoid going into debt whenever possible. “The rich rule over the poor, and the borrower is slave to the lender” (Proverbs 22:7).
Tithing and charitable giving should be a priority. “Honor the Lord with your wealth, with the firstfruits of all your crops” (Proverbs 3:9). Make financial decisions together with transparency and honesty. “No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money” (Matthew 6:24).
Serving Together
Look for ways to jointly serve God and others. “Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms” (1 Peter 4:10). Volunteer together at church, mentor young people, deliver meals to the elderly, go on mission trips as a couple, donate to charities, etc. “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ” (Galatians 6:2).
Serving together deepens intimacy, builds good communication and cultivates oneness. “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10). Make God the foundation of your relationship. “Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain” (Psalm 127:1).
Handling In-Laws
Managing relationships with in-laws can be challenging. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh” (Ephesians 5:31). Respect your in-laws, but set healthy boundaries. Your loyalty should be first to your spouse. “However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband” (Ephesians 5:33).
Speak respectfully of and to your in-laws. “Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone” (Romans 12:17-18). Show grace during tense interactions. “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Proverbs 15:1). Work through conflicts gently and humbly. “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love” (Ephesians 4:2).
Facing Crisis and Trial
Challenging life circumstances can either push couples apart or bring them closer together. When going through difficulties, cling to God and to each other. “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18). Share your feelings openly and provide comfort. “He comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God” (2 Corinthians 1:4).
Don’t try to “go it alone.” “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10). Trust God to work all things for good. “We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28). Emerging from trials together can strengthen intimacy and deepen love.
Seeking Counseling or Mentoring
There’s no shame in asking for help when you encounter difficulties or feel stuck in unhealthy patterns. “Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety” (Proverbs 11:14). Christian marriage counseling or mentoring from a pastor, older couple or professional counselor can provide perspective and tools.
Be committed to making changes and growing together. “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another” (Proverbs 27:17). Approach counseling humbly, willing to acknowledge your own flaws. “Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment” (Romans 12:3). The right help at the right time can get your relationship back on track.
Conclusion
The Bible offers a wealth of wisdom and guidance for relationships. Keep God at the center. Choose a wise partner. Communicate with kindness and honesty. Seek to understand rather than judge. Forgive freely. Honor God with your sexuality and finances. Serve and grow together. Seek help when needed. Approach each day with love – “Love is patient, love is kind…It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails” (1 Corinthians 13:4, 7-8).
