Asking questions is an important part of learning, growing, and building relationships. However, there are helpful guidelines from the Bible that can improve how we ask questions. Here are some key principles to keep in mind:
Ask with a Humble Spirit
We should approach questions with humility, not arrogance. Don’t ask questions to try to prove someone wrong or show off what you know. Be sincerely interested in learning more and gaining wisdom (Proverbs 15:33). Adopt a student mentality rather than acting like you have all the answers.
Ask at the Right Time
Timing matters when asking questions. Don’t interrupt someone in the middle of speaking or raise unrelated questions that derail the conversation (Ecclesiastes 3:7). Pay attention to social cues about whether it’s an appropriate time to ask your question.
Ask Concisely
Try to ask questions in a clear, concise way. Don’t ramble on or include unnecessary details. Refine your question so the key point is obvious. This shows respect for the person’s time and makes the question easier to understand.
Ask Open-Ended Questions
Questions that can be answered with a simple yes or no often limit potential conversation. Ask more open-ended questions that require explanation and reflection. For example, ask “What made you decide to…” rather than “Did you decide to…?”
Consider Your Motivations
Examine your motivations before asking a challenging question. Are you trying to show off, put someone down, or label them? Or are you genuinely seeking to understand? Ask in love, not anger or arrogance (1 Corinthians 13:5).
Avoid Interrogation
Don’t pepper people with lots of questions all at once. This can feel more like an interrogation than a friendly conversation. Start with your most important 1-2 questions. You can always ask follow-ups later.
Prepare Carefully
If you’re asking questions in a formal setting like an interview, put in preparatory work beforehand. Research the topic and brainstorm thoughtful questions ahead of time. Don’t just “wing it” in the moment.
Follow Up Respectfully
If you feel an answer to your question was incomplete or vague, it’s fine to respectfully ask follow-up questions for clarification. But don’t become argumentative or belligerent if the initial response wasn’t what you hoped for.
Thank the Person
Express gratitude when someone takes time to answer your questions, especially if they put significant thought and effort into their responses. Thank them for their patience and for sharing their wisdom with you.
Asking thoughtful, well-timed questions demonstrates wisdom and maturity. With an attitude of humility and respect, questions can lead to growth, learning, and stronger relationships. Following biblical principles like these will improve our question-asking skills.
When Jesus was young, He astonished the temple elders by asking insightful questions that showed His wisdom and understanding of spiritual matters (Luke 2:46-47). But Jesus also knew when to refrain from answering difficult questions meant to trap Him (Matthew 22:15-22). We should likewise learn to use discernment in how we formulate questions and to whom we direct them.
As Christians, God wants us to keep growing in knowledge and faith. Thoughtfully constructed questions allow us to learn from godly mentors without crossing the line into idle speculation or fruitless debate (2 Timothy 2:23, Titus 3:9). Ask the Holy Spirit to help you discern good questions to ask that will bless others and draw you closer to Him.
Here are some examples of good questions to ask in different settings:
- To a teacher or mentor: “What advice do you have for communicating more effectively?”
- To a pastor: “How did you first sense God calling you into ministry?”
- In a Bible study: “What does this passage reveal about God’s character?”
- To a spouse: “What could I do to be a better partner and support you right now?”
- To a child: “What was the highlight of your day today?”
On the other hand, avoid unwise questions like:
- “Why do bad things happen if God is good?” (this is very broad)
- “How could a loving God send people to hell?” (this could spark debate)
- “Why aren’t you married yet?” (this is intrusive)
- “How much do you weigh?” (this is inappropriate)
- “Did you take my laptop without asking?” (this sounds accusatory)
With practice, we can get better at asking questions that build up others, rather than tearing them down. Our words, including our questions, should impart grace to those who hear them (Ephesians 4:29). So be wise, be humble, and be thoughtful whenever you prepare to ask a question.
Here are some steps to take in formulating good questions:
- Pray for wisdom from God’s Spirit (James 1:5).
- Carefully consider your motivation for asking.
- Think through the wording to make it clear and concise.
- Reflect on whether the timing is appropriate.
- Have a sense of what you hope to gain from their response.
And here are some types of questions that generally should be avoided:
- Questions with false assumptions or incorrect premises
- Questions intended to embarrass or shame someone
- Rapid-fire questions without letting them respond
- Questions about trivial or foolish disputes (2 Timothy 2:23)
- Questions where you aren’t sincerely willing to listen
When we follow these biblical principles for asking questions, it honors God and serves others. Our questions can become tools for gaining knowledge, developing empathy, and strengthening bonds when we ask them with care, respect, and pure motives.
Asking good questions is a skill that improves with practice. As Christians, we know that God welcomes sincere questions asked from a heart seeking greater understanding and not merely striving about words (2 Timothy 2:14). Jesus’ disciples asked Him many questions, and He patiently taught them and gave them wisdom from the Father (Luke 9:43-45).
We too can keep growing in how to formulate thoughtful questions that do not promote dissension but rather build unity (Titus 3:9, Romans 16:17). Here are more examples of constructive faith-based questions to ask in our relationships and studies:
- “How did you find assurance of your salvation?”
- “What spiritual disciplines do you find most renewing?”
- “How can I thoughtfully study and apply this Bible passage?”
- “Would you share your perspective on how I could improve in ______ area?”
- “How has your faith in Christ helped you through difficult seasons?”
And some problematic question types to avoid include:
- Hypotheticals that lead down fruitless rabbit trails
- Challenges to justify deeply personal things like God’s calling
- Critiques of minor doctrinal differences
- Anything mocking or belittling their beliefs
- Prying into private spiritual experiences
The book of Proverbs speaks about how wisdom enters the heart of the discerning, who cry out for insight and search for it as hidden treasure (Proverbs 2:2-5). May our questions reflect such earnest desire for wisdom, not idle speculation. And may God grant us discernment to know when to speak up with questions and when it’s better to remain silent (Ecclesiastes 3:7).
As we prayerfully practice these biblical principles for asking questions well, we will be able to “make the most of every opportunity” in our speech (Colossians 4:6). Our questions will become a blessing rather than a stumbling block. People will feel valued, not interrogated. And we will gain much needed wisdom without descending into pointless disputes. Let us keep maturing in how we exercise this gift of asking good questions for God’s glory.
Here are some final tips on improving question-asking skills from a biblical perspective:
- Seek God’s wisdom rather than relying solely on your own logic (James 1:5).
- Be quick to listen, slow to speak up with a question (James 1:19).
- Stay focused on learning, not debating finer points.
- Be sincere in wanting to understand the person, not just collect information from them.
- Frame questions thoughtfully rather than blurting them out.
- Give the person time to reflect without interrupting.
- Thank them for taking time to provide insights through their responses.
Lastly, we must keep in mind that while questions can be helpful tools, salvation comes through faith in Christ, not endless questioning. As Isaiah 55:9 reminds us, God’s ways and thoughts are higher than ours. At a certain point, we all must step out in faith rather than staying trapped in a cycle of questioning and doubt.
Our human perspective is limited, but praise God that His truth revealed in Christ Jesus goes beyond what we could ever conceive. May our questions lead us deeper into awe and worship, not only more facts. And may others see His light and love reflected in how we ask questions as much as in the answers we give. To God alone be the glory!