Having an abortion can be an emotionally difficult experience. Even if you feel like abortion was the right decision at the time, you may still struggle with feelings of grief, regret, anger or guilt afterward. Know that you are not alone in experiencing these feelings – many women go through the same process of healing after ending a pregnancy.
The good news is that there are steps you can take to find healing, closure and peace after undergoing an abortion. God’s love, grace and forgiveness extend to all people, including women who have had abortions. By turning to Him and seeking support, you can experience emotional and spiritual healing.
Acknowledge Your Feelings
The first step is acknowledging whatever emotions you may be experiencing after the abortion. Give yourself permission to grieve the loss of the pregnancy. You may feel a sense of emptiness or detachment. It’s important not to ignore these feelings or push them away. As Ecclesiastes 3:4 says, there is “a time to weep, and a time to laugh.” This is a time for weeping and processing the emotional aftermath of abortion.
In addition to grief, many women struggle with guilt and regret. You may wonder “what if” and feel like you made the wrong choice. Exodus 34:7 assures us that God is merciful and forgiving of iniquity and transgression. Bring your regrets and guilt to God, asking Him to lift the burden you carry. Receiving His forgiveness can relieve the hold these negative emotions have over you.
Anger is another common reaction, whether towards a partner, doctor, yourself or even the pregnancy. God understands righteous anger, but reminds us in Ephesians 4:26 not to let the sun go down on our anger. Don’t let it fester – bring it to light through counseling, journaling or honest conversations with loved ones. Expressing anger constructively can help prevent destructive behaviors.
You may also feel shame, keeping the abortion a closely guarded secret. Shame has no place in God’s family. Romans 8:1 promises, “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” He knows what happened, loves you unconditionally and wants you to be free of shame’s power over you.
Seek Support
Don’t try to walk the road to healing alone. Having a strong support system makes recovery easier. If you’re married or in a relationship, opening up to your partner can help strengthen emotional intimacy. Share your feelings honestly and allow them to comfort you.
Close friends can also provide a listening ear, empathy and encouragement. Having even one person who knows what happened and will support you without judgement can make a big difference. If you don’t want to tell people you know, consider contacting a post-abortion counseling hotline. The compassionate volunteers are there to listen without condemnation.
Counseling is another avenue of support to consider. A licensed Christian counselor can help you work through complex emotions and get to the root of painful feelings that linger after abortion. They can guide you into healthy ways of processing grief and trauma.
Look for counseling support groups as well. Group therapy allows you to share your story and healing journey with others who have gone through similar experiences. There are Christian ministries such as Surrendering the Secret that offer abortion-recovery programs in group settings.
If your church offers care for women who have had abortions, take advantage of it. Joining a Bible study group is another way to grow spiritually with other believers. The right community provides acceptance, hope and healing. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 talks about the value of support: “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow.”
Reflect on God’s Compassion
One obstacle to emotional healing can be believing God is angry and unforgiving about the abortion. In reality, Psalm 86:15 describes God as “full of compassion and mercy.” He knew you before you were born and cares deeply about your wellbeing after an abortion.
Spend time reflecting on Christ’s compassion as described in the Gospels. When the woman caught in adultery was brought before him shamed and condemned, Jesus showed mercy and grace, telling her to “go and sin no more” (John 8:1-11). He defended the woman who anointed his feet, rebuking Simon the Pharisee for judging her (Luke 7:36-50). These accounts display God’s heart of understanding and love for women in distress.
Jesus came for the brokenhearted, to heal the wounded, and comfort those who mourn (Isaiah 61:1-3). Bring your heartbreak to the God who promises, “I will turn their mourning into joy. I will comfort them and give them gladness for sorrow” (Jeremiah 31:3). His forgiveness and restoration are complete; not partial.
Release Guilt and Shame
Carrying guilt over a past decision prevents healing. God wants to help you release those negative feelings so you can move forward. Hebrews 12:1 encourages us to “lay aside every weight and sin which clings so closely.” Confess your abortion to God, asking Him to break guilt and shame’s hold over you.
Visual symbols can help you process emotional heaviness. Write down any negative emotions or burdens on paper, then tear it up and throw it away. Or get stones for each feeling, carrying their symbolic weight before dropping them into water. Releasing the stones represents giving your regrets and heartaches to God.
Surrendering the Secret provides a 14-step recovery journey called Forgiven and Set Free. It includes exercises like writing a letter to your unborn child, then symbolically releasing that child to Jesus. These tangible steps can help women work through complicated emotions after abortion.
If you are struggling to accept God’s complete forgiveness, Christian counseling provides guided help. A counselor can identify any spiritual hindrances, false beliefs or high personal expectations contributing to ongoing guilt. Their support helps break free from condemnation and embrace the freedom Christ purchased.
Receive God’s Forgiveness
God promises in 1 John 1:9, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” Bring your specific actions, emotions, and regrets to Jesus. His mercy covers every confessed sin, including abortion.
Picture Christ’s forgiveness washing over you like water, cleansing away shame, guilt, and grief. Receive His healing words from Isaiah 43:25, “I, I am he who blots out your transgressions for my own sake, and I will not remember your sins.” Pray for the Holy Spirit to make this precious promise real in your life.
Some women find solace through symbolic baptism, testifying publicly to God’s work in their hearts. The physical act represents spiritual cleansing and the old passing away. Others take Communion/Lord’s Supper, hearing Christ’s words anew – “This is my body given for you” (Luke 22:19). His death brings your forgiveness and new life.
By trusting in God’s complete forgiveness through Jesus, you can move forward in hope.Romans 8:1 again reminds us, “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” The mistakes of your past don’t have to define your future.
Change Your Perspective
Healing requires looking at the abortion through God’s perspective. Listen to what His Word says about the child you lost. Psalm 139:13 reveals God knit that baby together in your womb. Psalm 127:3 declares children are a reward and sign of favor from the Lord. Every life carries intrinsic dignity and value in God’s eyes.
Seeing the pregnancy as God’s precious creation can open your heart to grief. You may need to work through anger that it happened at a difficult time. But remembering its significance to God helps fully mourn its loss. This perspective shift combats denial or minimization that hinder emotional healing.
Change also comes by seeing yourself as God sees you – as His beloved child. Psalm 103:12 tells us, “as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us.” He knows your innermost being and best future. You are deeply precious to Him, even in your human frailty.
Ask God to help you know your identity and value in Christ. As 2 Corinthians 5:17 says, “The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” His Spirit makes all things new. Jesus did not come for the healthy but to restore the broken. You are worthy of His pursuit and redemption.
Forgive Yourself and Others
Forgiving yourself is an important step that many women overlook. Being unable to move forward in God’s grace keeps you stuck. Recognize that Jesus paid the price for all sins, including yours. As Colossians 2:13-14 says, “He forgave us all our sins, having canceled the charge of our legal indebtedness, which stood against us.”
Pray a prayer of self-forgiveness, acknowledging that Christ’s blood covers your wrongs. Purpose to treat yourself with the kindness and compassion God has for you. Let go of negative self-talk and shame.
Forgiving others brings freedom too. Release hurt, anger or blame you feel toward a partner, doctor, parent or any involved party. Jesus teaches in Matthew 6:14, “If you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.” They too acted in human weakness, just as you did.
Free yourself fully through forgiveness. Don’t hold onto pain and grudges that poison peace. As Christ said from the cross, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34). Let His liberating grace flow to you and through you to others.
Hold onto Hope
When grief and regret seem overwhelming, hold onto hope. God promises in Psalm 30:5, “Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning.” With God’s healing, you will emerge stronger. This painful experience can bring greater intimacy with Him.
Be comforted knowing that your child is now with the Lord – a deeply consoling biblical truth. David found comfort after his infant son died, saying “I shall go to him” (2 Samuel 12:15-23). Your child resides safely in God’s presence, where there is “fullness of joy” and eternal life (Psalm 16:11).
Joy also comes knowing your story, honestly shared, might spare other women future pain. Your vulnerability becomes ministry, helping remove abortion’s stigma in Christian circles. Shining light in darkness brings purpose from heartache. There are always reasons to hope.
Look to the Future
Part of healing is beginning to look forward with courage and anticipation. Jeremiah 29:11 reminds us of God’s good plans to “give you a future and a hope.” He wants to redeem your loss and use your life for good. You may find purpose in advocating for life, volunteering at a pregnancy center, or mentoring young women in need.
If you become unexpectedly pregnant again, see it as a gift after loss. Fear may arise, but God may be starting anew. Psalms 113:9 says, “He gives the barren woman a home, making her the joyous mother of children.” Allow past experiences to deepen your compassion for the vulnerable.
God can also open new possibilities for motherhood you haven’t considered. Adoption or foster care allows you to bless a child in need of family. Many women who couldn’t initially parent find healing by embracing motherhood later. God’s timing is perfect.
As you look ahead, meditate on Jeremiah 29:13. “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” God promises to walk closely with you into a hopeful future. Let Him guide your decisions and steps. His plans hold joy, purpose, and redemption.
Remember God’s Presence
On difficult days when pain feels overwhelming, remember God’s promised presence. Deuteronomy 31:8 says, “The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” You are not alone in your struggle.
Draw near to Jesus through worship, singing, and prayer. Soak in comforting Scripture like Psalm 34:18: “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” Let Him carry you when you feel weak. He will be your rock, refuge and strength as you walk the road to recovery.
God can also use your story for good. Sharing it compassionately with other hurting women gives them hope. Volunteer to help pregnancy centers, mentor youth, or pray outside clinics. Your empathy from personal experience becomes a gift. Romans 8:28 promises God works all things for the good of those who love Him.
Take Practical Steps
Along with emotional healing, practical steps can help you find closure. Journaling provides a means to process feelings as they arise. Recording your journey makes progress tangible. Creative arts like painting, music, or dance can also be therapeutic outlets.
Creating a memorial to the child you lost gives the pregnancy significance. You may want to name the baby and write a letter, plant a tree, or get a special piece of jewelry. Tangible remembrances help with grieving an unseen life.
Supporting pro-life charities, pregnancy centers, or abortion healing ministries provides purpose. God may lead you to share parts of your story to help other women. Volunteering, donating funds, or raising awareness makes a difference.
Release and restoration often involve symbolic acts. Some women have healing services to mark their abortion’s anniversary with songs, Scripture, communion and prayer. Creating Christian rituals offers structure to process painful memories.
Physically caring for your body also aids emotional health. Make sure to sleep enough, eat healthy foods, and look after medical needs. Supplements like magnesium, zinc, or Vitamin B can relieve anxiety and depression. Gentle exercise boosts endorphins too.
Keep Moving Forward
Understand that healing is a journey with ups and downs. Some days will feel heavy with regret; others light with hope. Don’t get discouraged by setbacks. With God, forward motion is guaranteed even amid struggles.
Consider recovery a spiral staircase. As you circle back around to similar emotions, you rise to a higher perspective each time. Recurring feelings simply indicate an opportunity to process them at a new level. Let them propel you upwards.
When plagued by the past, turn to Philippians 3:13-14 (ESV): “But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead,I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” God has bright days ahead!
Track progress through a healing journal that lists what you’re grateful for. Make note of milestones like when anger lifts or you suddenly feel hope. Seeing forward motion keeps you motivated to do the heart work needed to recover fully.
Healing happens step-by-step. Over time, peace and acceptance grow naturally as you walk with Christ. His transformative power enables you to move positively into the future He has prepared.
Rest in God’s Love
Ultimately, healing comes by resting in God’s perfect, unconditional love for you. The Psalmist says in 34:18, “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Draw comfort from His nearness when you feel alone. He will never leave you broken.
Turn to Him in moments of doubt or sorrow. “The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing” (Psalm 23:1). He makes you lie down in green pastures when exhausted and leads you beside quiet waters. His Spirit brings stillness amid the storm.
When assailed by the enemy with accusations, stand on God’s promises. “There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1). Take hold of His grace, “for it is by grace you have been saved through faith ” (Ephesians 2:8).
Let your heart take refuge in the God who is Love. “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear” (1 John 4:18). He fills you with everlasting hope. Rest peacefully in His forgiveness, truth, and eternal perspective. You are safe in the Shepherd’s arms.
God makes all things beautiful in time. Trust Him to redeem this pain for good and lead you to greater intimacy with Him. Let Him heal your brokenness and restore your joy. You have a hopeful future ahead as His beloved child.