Conflict is an inevitable part of any human relationship or organization. Even in the church, which is meant to reflect God’s love and promote peace, conflict can and does occur. The Bible offers helpful principles on how believers should view and respond to conflict within the body of Christ.
First, Scripture teaches that conflict is often the result of sinful desires and tendencies in people. James 4:1-2 says, “What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel.” Human selfishness, pride, greed, and other sins are frequent sources of discord and strife, even among Christians. Recognizing the root causes can help guide solutions.
The Bible also warns against a critical, judgmental spirit that leads to arguments and division. Romans 14:1 instructs believers to “welcome one who is weak in faith, but not to quarrel over opinions.” Christians should be quick to extend grace to others, not nitpick over secondary issues. Unity in love is far more important than uniformity in all beliefs and practices.
When conflict does emerge, there are several biblical principles to guide a godly response:
- Keep short accounts – Address issues quickly before they escalate (Matthew 5:23-24).
- Speak the truth in love – Be honest but gentle and gracious (Ephesians 4:15).
- Listen carefully – Seek to understand the other person’s perspective (James 1:19).
- Forgive readily – Let go of wrongs committed against you (Colossians 3:13).
- Restore gently – The goal is redemption, not condemnation (Galatians 6:1).
- Pray together – Ask God for wisdom, unity and reconciliation (Matthew 18:19-20).
- Seek outside help – Involve other believers as needed to resolve matters (Matthew 18:16).
In following these principles, the overarching goal should be restoring relationships and maintaining unity as much as possible. Believers are exhorted in Romans 12:18, “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.” Our witness to the world is damaged when conflict goes unresolved.
When differences are significant enough that relationships cannot be restored, it may be necessary for parties to “agree to disagree” and even part ways. But this should be a last resort after sincere efforts at reconciliation. Even then, believers should part with grace and forgiveness, not hostility or resentment (Romans 12:14-21).
In conflicts involving sin issues requiring church discipline and accountability, Jesus gave clear instructions in Matthew 18:15-17. First, the matter should be addressed privately between the two parties. If no resolution is reached, one or two others are brought in as witnesses. If the person remains unrepentant, the matter is brought before the church body. As a final recourse, the sinning individual may be removed from fellowship to prompt repentance. This process has the dual aims of restoring the straying believer and keeping sin from spreading in the church.
Church leaders have a special responsibility to serve as peacemakers in the midst of conflict. As shepherds of the flock, they are called to guard the unity of the Spirit (Ephesians 4:3). This requires acting with grace and impartiality, listening carefully, providing biblical counsel, protecting the vulnerable, and keeping all parties focused on Christ.
For lay members, humility, patience and prayer are essential during times of disagreement and strife. Rather than taking sides or spreading gossip, believers should seek the Lord wholeheartedly, trust in His sovereignty, rely on His healing grace, and wait on His timing and direction.
Through it all, the command of 1 Peter 3:8 should guide the church: “Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind.” As God’s children, reconciled to Him through Christ, we should reflect His character of mercy, forgiveness, and peace. While conflict will come, we must strive to overcome evil with good (Romans 12:21).
Our conduct within the body of Christ serves as a powerful witness to a lost and divided world. Even in the midst of conflict and discord, by God’s strength the church can model reconciliation, patience, and love. We demonstrate the transforming power of the gospel when, empowered by the Holy Spirit, we resolve disputes and pursue unity for God’s glory.
Conflict and offense come with being part of a community of sinners. Yet if guided by scriptural principles, and relying on the Holy Spirit’s help, even divisions and strife can be redeemed by God to purify His church and draw her closer to Himself. As Paul exhorted the Philippian church during a time of quarrels among leaders: “Stand firm thus in the Lord” (Philippians 4:1). The Lord alone is able to bring harmony, healing, and hope out of any conflict within His church.
