The question of whether Christians from different denominations should date or get married is an important one. There are differing perspectives on this issue within the Christian church. Here is an overview of key considerations from the Bible on interdenominational relationships among believers.
Unity Within Diversity
The Bible emphasizes the underlying unity that all true Christians share despite denominational differences. Ephesians 4:4-6 says “There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call, one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.” This passage highlights that there is ultimately only one true faith that unites all believers in Christ, even across denominational lines.
Jesus also prayed to the Father that his followers “may all be one…so that the world may believe that you have sent me” (John 17:21). This shows that unity among Christians is important for advancing the gospel message. So there is biblical precedent for the idea that denominational diversity does not negate the underlying connection that exists between followers of Christ from different traditions.
Marriage Between Believers and Unbelievers
The Bible specifically advises against believers marrying non-believers. 2 Corinthians 6:14 says “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?” This passage indicates that Christians should be very cautious about marrying someone who does not share their faith, because it could lead to spiritual compromise.
Some theologically conservative denominations would apply this principle to relationships between Christians from significantly different traditions as well. They would argue that large doctrinal differences could present challenges similar to that of marriages between believers and unbelievers. So they advise against interdenominational dating and marriage for that reason.
Issues to Consider
Those advocating caution about interdenominational relationships raise considerations such as:
- Significant doctrinal differences on major issues like salvation, baptism, spiritual gifts, etc. could cause division in marriage.
- Deciding where to go to church and raise children could be a point of contention.
- Differing viewpoints could hinder spiritual intimacy between spouses.
- One spouse may have to “compromise” on beliefs they are convinced reflect biblical truth.
These are important points to reflect on. Entering an interdenominational marriage does require extra communication, respect, understanding and compromise from both partners. However, many such marriages do succeed despite initial challenges.
Marriage Within the Faith
Those who support interdenominational relationships would point to Bible verses that seem to encourage marriage between believers. For example:
- 1 Corinthians 7:39 – A widow “is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.” This implies Christians should marry other Christians.
- 1 Corinthians 9:5 – The apostles had believing wives, indicating marriages between followers of Christ.
- 2 Corinthians 6:14 – Being “unequally yoked” prohibit being joined to an unbeliever, but not another believer from a different tradition.
Based on such verses, many Christians believe the Bible permits and even encourages marriage between true believers. The denominational background of the spouse is considered secondary.
Seeking Common Ground
Those who take this perspective emphasize focusing on Christian essentials that different denominations share in common, such as:
- Belief in Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior
- Commitment to the authority of Scripture
- Affirmation of foundational creeds like the Apostles’ Creed
- Shared moral values and practices based on the Bible
Partners in an interdenominational marriage can build unity around such core elements of faith while graciously discussing any doctrinal differences that may arise. They still attend their respective churches but can jointly serve in nondenominational ministries and find other common spiritual interests.
Pursuing Christian Virtues
Scripture emphasizes the importance of cultivating Christian virtues like humility, patience and love in marriage:
- Ephesians 4:2 – “With all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love.”
- Colossians 3:12-14 – “Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and…above all these put on love.”
These qualities help strengthen the bond between spouses. Focusing on developing them can help overcome denominational differences in marriage. The emphasis should be on growing together in Christ-like character.
Submitting to God’s Will
Ideally Christian couples should prayerfully seek God’s will about marriage decisions:
- Proverbs 3:5-6 – “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”
- James 1:5 – “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.”
Couples asking God for wisdom and discernment about marriage across denominational lines can trust He will guide them to make the best decision, even if that means not getting married.
Maintaining Doctrinal Convictions
While compromise is needed in any marriage, partners should not be forced to violate sincere biblical convictions. Romans 14:5 says, “Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind.” If core beliefs are compromised, it could lead to resentment and spiritual confusion.
Healthy relationships require mutual understanding and thoughtfulness regarding doctrinal differences. The firmer a couples’ doctrinal convictions are, the more discussion and prayer is needed about an interdenominational marriage.
Seeking Counsel and Accountability
Couples considering interdenominational marriage should seek counsel from spiritual mentors within their respective churches. This provides the opportunity to discuss potential issues and get guidance. Accountability will also help couples stay rooted in faith.
As Proverbs 11:14 says, “Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.” God can use wise counselors to help confirm or caution against marriage to a particular person.
Prioritizing Spiritual Growth
No matter what denomination they come from, the main priority for Christian spouses should be growing in faith and modeling Jesus to each other and their children.
Colossians 1:10 says to “walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him: bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God.” This encourages spiritual growth in marriage.
By focusing more on their relationship with Christ than denominational differences, couples can have a strong, devout marriage centered on Him.
Oneness in Diversity
Marriage between Christians from different denominations can reflect the broader unity-in-diversity of the universal church. Just as congregations have unique identities within the larger body of Christ, diverse spouses can come together in Christ-centered marriage.
Revelation 7:9 describes people “from every nation, from all tribes and peoples and languages” worshiping God together. Like this great multitude, Christian spouses from different traditions can honor God in marital oneness.
Making it Work
Here are some tips that can help make an interdenominational marriage succeed:
- Focus on Jesus Christ and your shared devotion to Him.
- Commit to the same local church and serve together.
- Read the Bible together daily.
- Attend a small group or Bible study together.
- Find doctrinal common ground.
- Discuss differences respectfully and humbly listen to each other.
- Allow each partner to hold doctrinal convictions without feeling pressured.
- Seek outside counsel and accountability if needed.
- Emphasize developing Christian virtues – patience, kindness, humility.
- Pray together frequently.
With effort, teamwork, and God’s help, interdenominational marriages can thrive and be a powerful testimony of Christian unity and love.
Special Considerations for Raising Children
For interdenominational couples, decisions about childraising and church attendance require extra thought and discussion. It can be helpful to:
- Choose a church together to regularly attend as a family.
- Allow occasional visits to each spouse’s childhood church for exposure.
- Focus on teaching children biblical basics both parents affirm.
- Allow children to ultimately choose their beliefs when older.
- Emphasize ethics and Christian practices over denominational doctrine.
- Explain denominational differences respectfully when questions arise.
With prayer and mutual submission to God’s will, parents can find unity in raising children to love the Lord despite denominational diversity in the home.
Marriage as Ministry
Interdenominational marriage requires sacrificial love, patience and grace. But the effort put into building marital unity despite differences can become a powerful ministry. It shows the world true Christian reconciliation and peace in diversity. As Christians pray and work together, ethnically blended marriages will become common in congregations that are pursuing racial integration.
Revelation 5:9 describes people from “every tribe and language and people and nation” worshiping God. Interracial and interdenominational marriage and childraising is one way this prophecy is fulfilled. As couples bear witness to the unifying power of the gospel, they point to the ultimate ethnic diversity found in the kingdom of God.
So while caution is needed, with much prayer and sound counsel, Christians from different denominations can often build strong, thriving marriages centered on Jesus Christ. Their God-empowered marital oneness in diversity witnesses to the power of the gospel.
