In John 2:4, Jesus responds to his mother Mary by saying “Woman, what does this have to do with me? My hour has not yet come.” This response has puzzled some Bible readers, who wonder if Jesus was being rude or dismissive of His mother.
To understand the meaning behind Jesus’ words, it’s important to examine the cultural context. In Jesus’ day, addressing someone as “woman” was not considered rude or disrespectful. In fact, Jesus uses the term “woman” in other interactions in a completely respectful way (Matthew 15:28, Luke 13:12, John 4:21, 8:10, 20:15).
The term “woman” was a formal and courteous way to address a lady, much like saying “ma’am” today. It did not imply any sort of rudeness or unkindness. So there is no reason to think Jesus was being rude to His mother in this passage.
In addition, the passage shows that Mary clearly expected Jesus to do whatever she asked. But Jesus’ response reminds her that He ultimately takes direction from God the Father, not her. Since Jesus’ “hour” refers to His crucifixion and resurrection, He indicates that He will move according to God’s timing, not hers.
Jesus is not denying Mary’s request, but simply making the point that He must carry out His Father’s will above all else. In fact, by the end of the passage Jesus does perform the miracle His mother requested, turning water into wine. But He makes sure people understand the miracle was from God, not just an act of obedience to His mother.
Looking at John 2:4 in context, there are several indications that Jesus was speaking respectfully and not rudely to Mary:
- Jesus uses the term “woman,” an honorable form of address.
- He makes a valid point about His ultimate allegiance to God’s timing.
- He goes on to perform the miracle Mary requested.
- Mary does not show any sign of taking offense at Jesus’ words.
There are also some possible reasons why Jesus addressed His mother this way in public:
- He wanted to discourage Mary from thinking she could directly control His actions, but to point her to trusting God’s plan.
- He wanted to avoid any impression that He was subject to human authority, but only God’s.
- He wanted to demonstrate that faith in Him should be based on His divine identity and purpose, not merely human family ties.
Some Bible scholars note that Jesus consistently addressed women in this way, including Mary Magdalene after His resurrection (John 20:15). He likely did this to avoid the appearance of impropriety from too much familiarity with women who were not His wife.
Whatever Jesus’ specific reasons, His words do not reflect disrespect toward His mother, but a desire to clarify His identity and mission. Though not rude, neither are they submissive to Mary’s direction. Jesus reminds her that He follows God’s authority above all.
In summary, the evidence indicates Jesus was not being rude or dismissive toward His mother Mary in John 2:4. The term “woman” was courteous for the culture, and Jesus’ response makes an important point rather than rejecting Mary’s request. By better understanding Jesus’ intent and identity, we can see this verse does not contradict the great honor and care He showed for His mother throughout His life.
Interpreting “Woman” in Cultural Context
Jesus frequently addressed women as “woman” in the Gospels, and did not intend it as a sign of disrespect or reproach. The term indicated formality and respect when used to address a lady who was not a close relative. Here are some examples that provide cultural context:
- Matthew 15:28 – Jesus says “Woman, you have great faith!” to the Canaanite woman after healing her daughter.
- Luke 13:12 – Jesus calls the crippled woman “Woman, you are freed from your disability.”
- John 4:21 – Jesus tells the Samaritan woman at the well, “Woman, believe Me, an hour is coming when you will worship the Father neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem.”
In each case, Jesus uses “woman” respectfully as He commends the woman’s faith or declares healing. The Samaritan woman at the well recognizes no offense, as she engages Jesus in extensive spiritual conversation.
This evidence from the Gospels confirms that “woman” was a courteous way for a Jewish man to address a lady. Applying this understanding to John 2 eliminates any notion that Jesus intended the term rudely or dismissively toward His mother.
Jesus’ “Hour” Indicates Alignment with God’s Plan
Another clue that Jesus was not being rude or resistant to Mary’s request is found in His statement that “My hour has not yet come.” Jesus is indicating that He acts according to God’s timing and direction for His mission and ministry, not human demands.
References to Jesus’ “hour” in John’s gospel point to the culmination of His earthly work in sacrifice and victory:
- John 7:30 – “So they were seeking to arrest him, but no one laid a hand on him, because his hour had not yet come.”
- John 8:20 – “He spoke these words while he was teaching in the treasury of the temple, but no one arrested him, because his hour had not yet come.”
- John 12:23 – “The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified.” (speaking of His death)
- John 13:1 – “Now before the Feast of the Passover, when Jesus knew that his hour had come to depart out of this world to the Father…”
- John 17:1 – “When Jesus had spoken these words, he lifted up his eyes to heaven, and said, ‘Father, the hour has come…'” (His prayer before the crucifixion)
By saying in John 2:4 that His hour had not yet come, Jesus indicates that Mary cannot dictate when He performs a miracle. God’s timing and purpose for Him to be revealed as Messiah take precedence. This explains Jesus’ response without viewing it as disrespectful to Mary.
Jesus Honored His Mother Even from the Cross
If Jesus were being generally rude or dismissive toward His mother in John 2, we would expect Mary to be offended or troubled. But she brings no complaint about Jesus’ words either to Him or others. She appears to understand Jesus’ response as clarifying the source of His authority and mission.
The absence of any offense by Mary, along with Jesus’ habit of using “woman” respectfully to address ladies, confirms that He intended no insult to His mother. His words aimed to distinguish the source of His mission rather than deny her request.
In fact, Jesus maintained the highest level of care and honor for Mary, even as He suffered on the cross. As recorded in John 19:25-27:
But standing by the cross of Jesus were his mother and his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother, “Woman, behold, your son!” Then he said to the disciple, “Behold, your mother!” And from that hour the disciple took her to his own home.
By arranging a home for Mary with John, Jesus made sure she would be cared for after His death. These are not the actions of a son who was rude or dismissive of His mother. All evidence points to Jesus addressing Mary with respect in John 2, while also asserting His divine authority and mission.
Reasons for Jesus’ Response
While Jesus was not embarrassed or rude toward Mary, He did have important reasons for responding to her request by declaring the source of His authority and mission. Bible scholars suggest several possibilities that help explain Jesus’ purpose in this interaction:
- Discourage Mary’s Presumption of Control – Mary’s instructions to the servants indicate she presumed Jesus would do whatever she requested. Jesus may have wanted to prevent this expectation that He was under Mary’s direction.
- Assert Allegiance to God Above All – By referring to His “hour” set by God, Jesus emphasizes that He ultimately follows the Father’s will, not human demands. His mission transcends earthly ties.
- Shift Basis of Faith to His Divinity – Jesus may have wanted people’s faith in Him to be anchored in His divine identity and heavenly purpose rather than human relations.
- Avoid Appearance of Impropriety – Jesus consistently maintained formality when interacting with women to avoid appearance of undue intimacy. His wisdom prevented rumor or scandal.
Each of these motivations would explain Jesus’ response to Mary in a way consistent with continued care and honor for His mother. He politely distinguished the source of His authority while supporting Mary’s goal to have the need met for more wine at the wedding.
Jesus’ Response Affirms His Identity and Mission
While Jesus was not rude to His mother in John 2:4, neither was He passive or compliant in response to her request. Mary had confidence that Jesus would obey her directions. But Jesus’ reply makes it clear that His actions follow the Father’s leading according to the Messianic mission. He is ready to do the miracle, but not merely at Mary’s behest.
As the Son of God on earth, Jesus affirmed that His heavenly identity and purpose took priority over human ties and expectations. Rather than dishonoring Mary, this distinction honored the source of His authority and mission in God the Father. Throughout His life, Jesus showed the utmost care and respect for Mary in a way consistent with His divine priority.
Understanding this context helps explain why Jesus addressed Mary as “woman” and stated that His “hour” had not yet come. He intended no insult, but a revelation of His true identity as the Son of God on earth, aligned with the Father’s timing and will. This interaction provides a glimpse into Jesus’ divine nature couched in human flesh as Mary’s son.
