The Bible has a lot to say about kindness, especially in Ephesians 4:32 which instructs us to “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” This verse packed with meaning that can transform our relationships when put into practice.
First, let’s look at what it means to “be kind.” The original Greek word used here is “chrēstos” which means to be good, gracious, and useful. It implies acting in a way that is upright, gentle, and considerate. Being kind doesn’t just mean avoiding meanness, but going out of our way to treat others with tenderness and compassion. It involves being patient, forgiving, thoughtful, and helpful even when it’s not easy or deserved.
Kindness is closely linked to being tenderhearted. This means having a heart of mercy that is sensitive to others’ needs and hurts. A tender heart empathizes instead of criticizes, and is quick to forgive instead of hold a grudge. When our heart is tender towards others, it enables us to treat them with the gracious kindness God desires.
We also see that kindness works hand in hand with forgiveness. Part of being kind to others is releasing our right to payback when wronged. Forgiveness frees our own hearts from bitterness while reassuring the one who hurt us of our mercy. Jesus showed ultimate kindness and forgiveness by dying for our sins while we were still His enemies (Romans 5:8). As recipients of God’s gracious forgiveness, we are called to extend that same lavish kindness to each other.
Putting kindness into action may look like:
- Speaking gently and respectfully to others, even when we disagree
- Going out of our way to help someone in need
- Refusing to gossip, slander, or harm someone’s reputation
- Being patient and gracious instead of rude or pushy
- Giving people the benefit of the doubt instead of judgment
- Showing concern for the poor, sick, and marginalized
- Freely forgiving those who hurt or offend us
Practicing this kind of active love and mercy towards others, regardless of whether they deserve it, is a powerful witness of God’s unconditional love. It also builds unity within the church and gives credibility to our message about the transforming grace of Jesus.
However, showing this kind of extraordinary kindness is not something we can do in our own strength. We need God’s help. When Scripture calls us to be kind, it also points us to the source of kindness – God himself. In Ephesians 4:32, we are to be kind to each other “as God in Christ” was kind to us. We are able to show such gracious mercy because we have first received it from Him.
God displayed incredible kindness towards us even when we were His enemies, unworthy and ungodly (Romans 5:6-10). He did not give us what we deserved – judgment. Instead, He gave us what we could never earn – forgiveness, redemption, and adoption as His dearly loved children. All because of His extravagant grace and kindness through Christ (Ephesians 2:7).
As recipients of God’s kindness, it transforms how we view those who wrong us. We can release bitterness and desire for revenge because we have been freely forgiven a much greater debt. We can pray for our enemies and bless those who curse us (Matthew 5:44, Luke 6:28), just as Christ prayed for those crucifying Him (Luke 23:34). We can forgive “seventy times seven” as many times as needed (Matthew 18:22).
God’s Spirit enables us to show supernatural kindness – the same kindness He lavished on us. As we grow closer to God, staying rooted in His love (Ephesians 3:17), we will bear the fruit of His Spirit, including kindness (Galatians 5:22). Walking in step with the Spirit and letting His love flow through us gives us the power to live in active, selfless kindness towards others (Galatians 5:25, Romans 5:5).
Putting Christ’s words into practice leads to blessing. He said “Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy” (Matthew 5:7). As we graciously extend kindness and forgiveness to others, it will come back to benefit us. Treating people the way we want to be treated creates positive ripples in relationships and community. But the greatest reward is becoming more like Jesus and hearing “Well done, good and faithful servant” (Matthew 25:21).
However, living in kindness does not mean allowing people to keep abusing and mistreating us. we may need to set boundaries and distances ourselves from toxic relationships for a time. But we can do so while still maintaining an attitude of kindness – speaking truth gently, forgiving past offenses, and being willing to reconcile if possible. “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all” (Romans 12:18).
Showing Christlike kindness should extend beyond just those who are kind to us. In Luke 6:32-36, Jesus challenged his followers:
“If you love those who love you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who do good to you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners do the same…But love your enemies, and do good…Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful.”
We are called to a supernatural level of kindness – one that includes even our enemies. This extraordinary kindness reveals God’s grace and garners the attention of those who do not know Him, causing some to glorify God (1 Peter 2:11-12). It also serves as a powerful apologetic, demonstrating the legitimacy of our faith.
Jesus set the ultimate example of radical kindness when He willingly went to the cross. While we were His enemies, He showed the full extent of His love by laying down His life to save us (Romans 5:6-10). He took the punishment and wrath we deserved so we could be reconciled and adopted into God’s family. This sacrificial demonstration of grace, fueled by pure kindness, continues to draw people to salvation today.
As followers of Jesus, we are called to emulate His kindness, forgiving and loving even the undeserving. This can be challenging when others treat us unfairly, but the Bible reminds us in Romans 12:21 that evil is overcome by good, not returning evil for evil. And by loving those who seem unlovable, we might draw them to the transforming power of Christ’s love.
Galatians 5:22-23 tells us that kindness is a fruit of the Spirit available to believers as we walk in step with Him. As we spend time getting to know God’s heart through studying Scripture, we become more in tune with His kindness and begin to share that grace with others. Staying connected to Christ through prayer and worship keeps our hearts soft, open, and tender, enabling us to be conduits of His kindness.
We also grow in kindness as we meditate on and memorize inspirational verses about God’s grace and our calling to reflect Him. Meditating on Ephesians 4:32 and similar Scriptures write God’s perspective on kindness onto our hearts, training us to live it out when relationships get difficult. Some other verses to reflect on include:
- Colossians 3:12-14 – “Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.”
- 2 Peter 1:5-7 – “For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love.”
- 1 Corinthians 13:4-5 – “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful.”
- Proverbs 31:26 – “[A virtuous woman] opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.”
As God’s Word renews our thinking, the Holy Spirit empowers us to live out supernatural kindness even when it’s difficult. We can ask Him to soften our hearts, open our eyes to see people through His perspective, and give us strength to return good for evil.
Prayer is another key way we can grow in kindness. As we intercede for others, even enemies, our hearts expand with God’s love for them. We can ask God to bless them, meet their needs, reveal Himself to them, and soften their hearts as He has ours. It’s hard to hate people when we are praying for them. Praying for someone releases bitterness and gives us God’s heart of kindness for them.
It also helps to meditate often on God’s astounding kindness towards us – that while we were dead in sin, He gave us new life (Ephesians 2:4-5). Keeping the cross in view motivates us to share that gracious kindness with others. As 1 John 4:19 reminds us, “We love because he first loved us.” Remembering how God has treated us empowers us to extend the same mercy to those who wrong us.
Putting Ephesians 4:32 into practice brings incredible blessing. Treating others with Christlike kindness, regardless of how they treat us, leads to stronger relationships, peace, and joy. It defuses conflict, turning enemies into friends. It serves as a powerful witness, drawing unbelievers to the love of Christ.
Living in active kindness glorifies God, fulfills His purposes, and leads to eternal rewards. As Jesus taught in Matthew 5:14-16, when we let our light shine through good works like kindness, people will see it and glorify our Father in heaven. The world recognizes true kindness because it is so uncommon apart from the transformative power of Christ’s love.
No matter how people treat us, we can choose to reflect God’s grace, knowing He will use it for good. Our role is simply to shine as His representatives on earth, overcoming evil with active, supernatural kindness. We can be assured it will never be in vain, but will powerfully advance God’s kingdom.
So let us go out with joy, compelled by God’s mercy, ready to be kind to all – even enemies. For kindness sparked a revolution of grace when Jesus sacrificed Himself for us. Now as His followers, let it spark another revolution through us. Imagine how it can transform relationships, influence society, and draw people to Jesus – one act of kindness at a time.
