The phrase “let your yes be yes and your no be no” comes from Matthew 5:37 in the Bible, where Jesus tells his followers, “Let what you say be simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything more than this comes from evil.” This verse encourages truthfulness, integrity, and simplicity in speech. When we consider the meaning behind Jesus’ words, several implications emerge.
Be Truthful and Trustworthy
To “let your yes be yes and your no be no” means being truthful and trustworthy in all we say. As followers of Christ, our words should reflect the sincerity within our hearts. We shouldn’t have to swear oaths or give elaborate explanations to confirm the truth of our speech. Simply saying “yes” or “no” should be enough, because our character stands behind our words (Matthew 5:33-37).
This requires honesty and integrity. Before immediately saying “yes,” we should pause to consider whether we can really follow through on a commitment. If we know the honest answer is “no,” then we shouldn’t hesitate to say so upfront. While a simple “yes” or “no” may seem blunt, it’s better than misleading people or overcommitting ourselves. Jesus calls us to humble authenticity.
Avoid Exaggeration and Embellishment
Saying “yes” or “no” also means resisting the temptation to embellish or exaggerate. In Matthew 5:37, Jesus notes that anything beyond a simple answer “comes from evil.” This likely refers to the deception and manipulation that can accompany embellished speech. We may be tempted to avoid plain yes or no answers in order to make things sound more impressive or persuasive.
But as followers of Christ, we are called to speak truthfully and simply, without exaggerating or embellishing facts. This applies to sharing testimonies, making promises, answering questions, and any other speech. Rather than making things sound dramatic or outlandish, we should let our words reflect objective truth. The truth has power on its own without embellishment.
Avoid Evasion and Hidden Meanings
Letting our “yes” mean yes and our “no” mean no also means avoiding evasive or noncommittal answers. Sometimes we may be tempted to say, “Maybe,” “We’ll see,” or “I’ll try,” when the real answer is “No.” Other times, we might technically say “Yes” while privately doubting if it’s possible. Jesus’ imperative implies our answers should convey our actual intent.
“Let your ‘yes’ be ‘yes’ and your ‘no’ be ‘no'” is a call to avoid equivocating and concealing our real opinions. As Christians, our speech should be forthright rather than hidden or ambiguous. Clarifying questions are fine, but we shouldn’t use vague answers as an evasive tactic. As Jesus followers, we can lovingly speak truth with both humility and confidence.
Reflect the Integrity of Jesus
Ultimately, letting our “yes” mean yes and our “no” mean no reflects Christ’s own integrity to us. Jesus only made promises he intended to keep, and he followed through faithfully on them all. His words perfectly aligned with truth. While we may fail to match Jesus’ perfect integrity, we can strive to emulate his truthfulness, love, and humility.
Our simple yes or no answers should represent Christ within us. They demonstrate our desire to speak truthfully, resist deception, and fulfill commitments even when difficult. While culture often focuses on how articulate or persuasive we sound, Jesus reminds us that integrity itself bears witness to his love and grace. Our lives preach a sermon; so do our straightforward answers.
Practical Examples
Practically, here are some examples of how we can let our “yes” mean yes and our “no” mean no in everyday life:
- Answering honestly when asked if we will pray for someone or meet up with them, rather than saying yes by default.
- Making realistic commitments to family members and friends, rather than overcommitting.
- Replying simply when asked questions by coworkers or neighbors rather than embellishing facts.
- Avoiding exaggeration when sharing stories or testimonies with church members.
- Declining new church ministry roles if our schedule doesn’t permit adding commitments.
- Admitting “no” when asked if we can keep a secret we should disclose.
- Owning up to mistakes at work rather than covering them up.
In each case, we stick to simple “yes” or “no” answers that convey the plain truth. This builds trust, integrity, and Christlike character in our relationships. Of course, we should always speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15).
Yes, When We Mean Yes
First, to let our “yes” be yes means only saying yes when we genuinely intend to follow through. Jesus said, “Simply let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No'” (Matthew 5:37). Before agreeing to something, we should pause and consider a few questions:
- Can I genuinely commit to this?
- Is this a wise way for me to spend my time and resources?
- Am I saying yes out of guilt, pressure, or people-pleasing rather than sincerity?
If we can answer yes to the first two and no to the last, then we can confidently agree. For example, when a friend asks if we can drive them to the airport, we should first ensure our schedule allows it before saying yes. To say yes without intending to follow through is dishonest. But when we mean yes, we can say so plainly.
No, When We Mean No
Likewise, to let our “no” be no means declining when we genuinely cannot commit. This may seem awkward, especially when saying no to reasonable requests from loved ones or ministry opportunities. We may be tempted to hem and haw or give a vague “maybe.” But it’s better to be upfront when the honest answer is no. We can say gently but firmly:
- “I’m so sorry, I won’t be able to attend your event next weekend.”
- “I appreciate you thinking of me, but I can’t take on another project right now.”
Declining clearly yet politely leaves no false expectations. Of course, it’s wise to consider if we can reprioritize before definitively saying no. But overcommitting and disappointing people is worse than declining upfront. As Matthew Henry said, “We must not promise anything rashly, nor break even lawful promises.” Our no should mean no.
The Heart Behind Our Words
More important than the specific words is the heart motivation behind them. Whether yes or no, our answers should reflect:
- Truthfulness and sincerity
- Desire to build trust
- Lack of hidden agendas
- Commitment to keep our word
Jesus cares more about these attitudes than the eloquence of our speech. Plain yes or no answers that honor him are better than impressive-sounding double-talk. Our character should support our words.
When to Elaborate Beyond Yes or No
Does “let your yes be yes and your no be no” mean we can never elaborate beyond one-word answers? Not necessarily. Jesus said additional words “come from evil” (Matthew 5:37), implying deceptive intent. But there are times when elaboration can be appropriate and beneficial:
- Clarifying details: “Yes I can drive you to the airport. My last meeting ends at 4 so I can pick you up at 4:30.”
- Explaining a refusal: “I’m so sorry I can’t make it to your event. My brother is coming into town that weekend.”
- Sharing struggles: “I want to say yes but my schedule is feeling really overwhelmed lately. Could we connect in a couple weeks instead?”
The key is keeping elaboration simple, truthful, and sincere. We want to avoid embellishing facts or manipulating emotions. A few sentences to clarify, explain, or express empathy can build trust and understanding.
What If We Have to Change Our Answer?
Another question is what to do if we say yes or no but then circumstances change. Life can be unpredictable. Promises sometimes need to be adjusted. When this happens, we should:
- Notify the person as soon as possible
- Explain the situation honestly
- Offer an alternate solution if possible
- Apologize for inconveniencing them
For example, “Jen, I’m so sorry I have to cancel watching your kids Thursday. I found out I need to go into work that day for an emergency project that just came up. Could I watch them Friday night instead to help make it up to you?” This shows consistency between our words and actions.
Cultivating Integrity Takes Time
Living with complete integrity in our speech is challenging. We will sometimes fail to accurately assess whether we can reasonably say yes. Other times, fear or people-pleasing may keep us from saying no. Growth takes time and grace. But Jesus continues changing our hearts as we walk with him.
By striving to let our yes be yes and our no be no, we become more Christlike. People learn they can trust us to keep our word. We avoid over-commitment and burnout. Our character begins to reflect Jesus to the world. Step by step, we develop lives of greater wisdom, truth, and love.
Objections and Discussion
Some may argue that white lies and exaggeration are harmless or even necessary at times. But Scripture urges us to speak truthfully for God’s glory and our witness (Zechariah 8:16, Colossians 3:9). Some key points are:
- White lies still sacrifice integrity: They undermine trust and our Christian witness over time.
- Exaggeration is deceitful: The truth has power on its own without embellishment.
- Equivocating is unloving: Clear yes or no answers avoid confusion and mixed signals.
- Cultural norms don’t determine truth: The world tolerates deception, but Christ calls us to a higher standard.
Jesus’ call to truthful speech protects relationships and honors him. The benefits outweigh the sacrifice of excuses, white lies, and embellishment.
Others may argue we risk disappointing people by not saying yes. But disappointing people is usually better than overcommitting and letting them down later. We can say no graciously but definitively. Over time, people will respect our integrity. Managing expectations upfront allows us to fulfill commitments.
Of course, we can thoughtfully consider requests before refusing them. And when possible, we might offer an alternative solution, like volunteering in a different capacity. We simply want to avoid unclear or unreliable responses.
Letting Our Yes Mean Yes and No Mean No Is Liberating
While this directness may seem countercultural, it is deeply liberating. We no longer have to maintain an ultra-busy, people-pleasing lifestyle at the cost of wisdom and integrity. We aren’t anxious about overcommitment or juggling lies. We can set healthy boundaries and rest in prayer rather than restless busyness.
This simplicity also reduces stress in relationships. Friends and family can take our words at face value rather than second-guessing hidden meanings. We can enjoy conversation and fellowship rather than walking on eggshells. Our character becomes steadfast and dependable.
Most importantly, unambiguous yes or no answers allow us to glorify Christ. We represent Him well when our speech aligns with truth. Plain communication clears away distractions from the gospel message we proclaim. Saying what we mean reflects the honesty and love of Jesus.
Conclusion
Letting our “yes” be yes and our “no” be no honors Christ and builds trust in all relationships. It requires surrendering cultural norms of embellishment and people-pleasing in favor of simple integrity. While challenging at times, living this principle creates stability and rest for our souls. Our sole aim becomes representing Jesus through uncomplicated, truthful speech.
