Bitterness is a complex emotion that can take root in our hearts when we face hurt, disappointment, or perceived injustice. Though natural, unchecked bitterness can lead to bigger problems spiritually. The Bible has a lot to say about bitterness and how to find freedom from its grip.
At its core, bitterness stems from anger, resentment, and an unwillingness to forgive. It often comes from being wronged or hurt in some way and being unable or unwilling to move past the pain. Bitter words and actions flow out of a bitter heart (Ephesians 4:31).
Bitterness blinds us from seeing things rightly and can easily spill over to infect other areas of our lives. A bitter spirit leads to a critical and judgmental attitude that can harm relationships and community. The writer of Hebrews warns, “See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no ‘root of bitterness’ springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled” (Hebrews 12:15).
At its worst, bitterness also indicates a heart that’s closed off to God. The prophet Isaiah described the people of Israel in their stubbornness and willful disobedience as essentially suffering from bitterness of heart (Isaiah 33:15).
So how do we get free and stay free from bitterness? God’s Word points to several essential keys.
1. Repent of bitterness.
The first step is acknowledging our own bitterness as sin that needs cleansing. King David models this in Psalm 51. He prays, “For I know my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me. Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight” (Psalm 51:3-4). Naming our bitterness as sin is essential.
As long as we ignore or downplay our own bitter attitudes, a root of bitterness will remain and continue causing trouble. Just as with any other sin, we must confess bitterness and turn from it in repentance.
2. Release the offense.
A major key to uprooting bitterness is forgiving those who’ve offended or hurt us. Releasing others frees our own hearts. But forgiveness is often easier said than done, especially when wounds run deep.
Thankfully, Jesus modeled true forgiveness for us from the cross. As he suffered an excruciating death, Jesus prayed for those crucifying him, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34). Amazingly, he forgave even his betrayers and murderers in the midst of the injustice.
Like Jesus, we can pray for grace to forgive others even when it seems impossible. As we release those who have hurt us, we break free from the snare of bitterness.
3. Give your hurt to God.
Letting go of offense is hard, especially if trust has been broken. At these times we need God’s help to release the hurt to Him. The apostle Peter instructs, “Cast all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7). Rather than holding on to the pain, we can give it to the Lord.
In his prayer journal, David again modeled this by pouring out his complaint to God for being betrayed by his friend and companion (Psalm 55:12-14). When people let us down, we can bring our hurts directly to the Lord who sympathizes and understands.
Sometimes giving our bitterness to God means wrestling it out in prayer until breakthrough comes. Other times it’s a simple step of obedience to release it into His hands. Either way, taking our hurt to the Lord allows Him to heal and fill our hearts with peace in place of bitterness.
4. Fill your heart with good things.
Another key to overcoming bitterness is refocusing our minds and hearts on righteous thoughts and attitudes. Paul instructs, “Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things” (Philippians 4:8).
Practically this means meditating on Scripture, thinking about everything we have to be thankful for, and looking for the good around us. Keeping our eyes fixed on Jesus makes the most difference. As Hebrews 12 reminds us, focusing on Christ helps us lay aside bitterness and run with perseverance the race marked out for us.
5. Walk in love and forgiveness.
Getting free from bitterness requires cultivating a lifestyle of choosing love and forgiveness. Even when hurt feelings well up again or offenses threaten to entangle us, we can ask Jesus to empower us to consistently walk in love.
Paul charges believers in Ephesians 4:32, “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” Keeping in step with the Spirit allows His supernatural love to displace our bitterness.
Sometimes this means forgiving someone seventy-seven times as Jesus instructed (Matthew 18:22). Other times it’s asking God to bless those who persecute us (Romans 12:14). Regardless, actively walking in love counteracts bitter and unforgiving attitudes.
6. Deal with your anger properly.
Since bitterness often stems from anger and resentment, learning to deal with anger Biblically helps prevent those feelings from morphing into bitterness.
The book of James gives this advice for handling anger, “Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God” (James 1:19-20). Being slow to speak and quick to listen de-escalates situations that can provoke anger.
When we do get angry, Ephesians 4:26 instructs, “In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.” Anger itself isn’t automatically sin, but it often leads to sin if not resolved. Letting go of anger with others promptly keeps our hearts free.
7. Get connected in Christian community.
Having brothers and sisters in Christ who support and encourage us makes a big difference in overcoming bitterness. The writer of Hebrews says meeting together regularly provides needed exhortation and builds us up in the faith (Hebrews 10:24-25).
Being part of a church family allows others to strengthen us when we are down and restore us when we’ve wandered (Galatians 6:1-2). Christ’s Body working properly builds itself up in love as each part does its work (Ephesians 4:16). Christian fellowship helps guard our hearts from isolation and bitterness.
8. Receive God’s healing.
Just as a bitter spirit impacts every area of life, God’s work of uprooting it brings restorative wholeness. Isaiah 61 proclaims the Lord was anointed to bind up the brokenhearted and give the mourner joy instead of mourning.
Part of overcoming bitterness means opening our hearts up to God’s healing touch. He wants to apply the saving work of Jesus deeply into every hurt place. As Psalm 147:3 reminds us, “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” Where we make room for Him, He brings freedom.
Sometimes divine healing happens instantly. Other times it’s a journey. But directing our bitterness and disappointed hopes to the One who heals allows Him to minister to us. His presence melts away bitterness and fills our hearts with grace.
9. Keep moving forward.
Finally, keeping free from the trap of bitterness means maintaining forward momentum into all God has for us. The apostle Paul modeled single-minded focus when he declared, “Forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal” (Philippians 3:13-14).
Dwelling on past hurts can easily entangle us again. God has amazing plans for our futures (Jeremiah 29:11). He wants to use every experience, even painful ones, to equip us for greater purpose and impact. Keeping our eyes fixed on Him propels us forward.
When bitterness threatens to return, we can choose to redirect our gaze to all the good things God has ahead. With Paul, we press on and keep advancing His Kingdom.
Freedom from bitterness
Though bitterness can feel like a life sentence after deep hurts, Jesus came to set captives free. He forgave us an infinite debt at immense personal cost. As we receive His forgiveness, we can pass it on to those who have wronged us.
Through Christ we have power to forgive, to release offenses, to heal, to live and love as He did. We overcome evil with good (Romans 12:21). While bitterness causes trouble, builds walls, and poisons communities, His love brings wholeness, unity, and life.
May our hearts and lives overflow with the gracious love of Christ. As we fix our eyes on Jesus, He faithfully leads us out of bitterness and into abundant life. His love heals our deepest hurts and makes beauty from ashes.
