Friendship is an incredibly important part of the human experience. God designed us to be relational beings, and healthy friendships can be a tremendous blessing in our lives. Throughout Scripture, we see examples of deep spiritual friendships as well as principles for how to develop godly relationships with others.
The Bible has a lot to say about friendship and provides wisdom on how to choose good friends, be a good friend, and enjoy the gift of friendship while avoiding potential pitfalls. Here is an overview of some of the key biblical teachings on friendship:
The Importance of Good Friends
The book of Proverbs emphasizes the value of having wise and righteous companions, stating “Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm” (Proverbs 13:20). We tend to become like those we spend time with, so seeking friendships with those who will positively influence our walk with God is crucial.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 describes the practical and emotional benefits of friendships: “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”
Proverbs 17:17 notes the sacrificial nature of true friendship: “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” And Proverbs 27:17 says, “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.” Good friends challenge and encourage us to grow.
Examples of Godly Friendships
The Bible provides many examples of deep spiritual friendships, such as David and Jonathan (1 Samuel 18:1), Ruth and Naomi (Ruth 1:16-17), and Paul and Barnabas (Acts 9:26-27). Jesus Himself demonstrated the importance of friendship by intentionally cultivating relationships with His disciples.
Some of the most prominent friendships in the Bible include:
- David and Jonathan (1 Samuel 18)—These two men shared a brotherly bond and made a covenant before God to show steadfast loyalty to one another. Their friendship points to the sacrificial nature of godly friendship.
- Ruth and Naomi (Book of Ruth)—Though Ruth was from Moab, she chose to remain with her mother-in-law Naomi after both of their husbands died. Ruth told Naomi “Where you go I will go, and where you lodge I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God my God” (Ruth 1:16). This friendship was marked by love, loyalty, and sacrifice.
- Jesus and His disciples (Gospels)—Jesus handpicked His 12 disciples and did life with them, modeling godly friendship. He said to them, “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you” (John 15:13-14).
- Paul and Timothy (Acts 16:1-3)—Paul mentored Timothy and treated him like a son. Their bond highlights how godly mentors can shape the lives of younger believers.
These examples demonstrate how biblical friendships are centered around loyalty, sacrifice, spiritual growth, and a mutual commitment to godliness.
Choosing Good Friends
Scripture warns believers to choose friends carefully and avoid close associations with those who will pull us away from the Lord:
- “Do not be deceived: Bad company ruins good morals” (1 Corinthians 15:33).
- “Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked” (Psalm 1:1).
- “He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm” (Proverbs 13:20).
While we should seek to show Christ’s love to all people, our closest friendships should be with those who share our faith and values. As 2 Corinthians 6:14 warns, “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers.”
Pursuing community with other believers will help us “consider how to stir up one another to love and good works” (Hebrews 10:24) and also guard us from negative influences.
Being a Good Friend
Here are some principles from Scripture on how to become a faithful, caring friend to others:
- Love others sacrificially – “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity” (Proverbs 17:17). John 15:13 says, “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.” Loving friends means laying down our own interests to serve them in times of need.
- Offer wise counsel – “Oil and perfume make the heart glad, and the sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel” (Proverbs 27:9). As “iron sharpens iron,” godly friends offer biblical wisdom and perspective to help others grow.
- Practice forgiveness – Friends inevitably hurt or offend one another. Following Jesus’ teaching in Matthew 18 about addressing conflict, friends must choose forgiveness and reconciliation.
- Keep confidences – “Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets, but he who is trustworthy in spirit keeps a thing covered” (Proverbs 11:13). Friends protect each other’s privacy and maintain trust by not divulging secrets.
- Be dependable and loyal – “A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother” (Proverbs 18:24). True friends are faithful during good and bad times.
- Speak truth in love – “Faithful are the wounds of a friend” (Proverbs 27:6). Godly friends have the courage to speak truth, even when it’s hard, in order to serve the other person.
- Build up one another – “Encourage one another and build one another up” (1 Thessalonians 5:11). Friends edify each other through affirmation, comfort, and reminding one another of Christ’s promises.
As believers, we are called not just to have casual acquaintances but to pursue genuine, Christ-centered friendships which glorify God.
Enjoying the Gift of Friendship
The Bible teaches that friendship is a gracious gift from God that should be cherished. We read in Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow.” Friends are a blessing from God to comfort, strengthen, and accompany us through life.
Close friendships provide many relational benefits, including:
- Accountability and spiritual growth
- Wise counsel and sharing burdens
- Fun, laughter and making memories
- Loyalty and deep care
- Correction and sharpening one another
Proverbs 27:9 notes that “Oil and perfume make the heart glad, and the sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel.” Time shared with godly friends is a precious gift to be thankful for. We were created for community and should seek to build spiritually meaningful relationships.
Avoiding Potential Pitfalls
While friendship is a blessing, the Bible also warns of some potential dangers to guard against:
- Letting friends influence you to sin – “Bad company ruins good morals” (1 Corinthians 15:33). We must hold each other accountable and not lead one another into sin.
- Putting friends above God – “Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me” (Matthew 10:37). Our greatest devotion belongs to the Lord.
- Gossip and slander – “Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets, but he who is trustworthy in spirit keeps a thing covered” (Proverbs 11:13). Friends should not gossip about or betray one another.
- Entangling romantic relationships – Boundaries are important, even in close friendships. We must flee sexual immorality and “flee youthful passions” that can flare beyond friendship (2 Timothy 2:22).
- Jealousy and rivalry – “Love is not jealous” (1 Corinthians 13:4). When friends are blessed, we should rejoice with them rather than being jealous.
- Neglecting other relationships – While we will be closer with some friends, we should not completely neglect our other relationships, including with family.
By God’s grace, we can develop life-giving friendships that strengthen our walk with Christ and bring glory to God. But we must also exercise biblical wisdom to avoid anything that may sabotage true friendship.
Friends in the Kingdom of God
While our friendships on earth provide a glimpse of godly community, Scripture also points to an eternal fellowship believers will enjoy together forever in God’s presence. We read about this future hope in passages like Revelation 19:9 – “Blessed are those who are invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb.” Heaven will bring perfect communion with God and unhindered love between the people of God.
As followers of Christ, we can look forward to a coming day when “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away” (Revelation 21:4). God’s presence and our eternal community with other believers will bring unlimited joy, comfort, and satisfaction.
Until that day, we strive by the Spirit’s help to cultivate godly friendships which honor Christ and draw us closer together in Him.
