The Bible has a lot to say about sex within marriage. God designed sex to be enjoyed between a husband and wife as a powerful expression of love and intimacy. Throughout Scripture, sex is seen as a gift from God meant for procreation and unity in marriage. The Bible celebrates sex as good while giving parameters for its proper use.
According to the Bible, sex was created by God for a married couple to become “one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). The act of sex creates an unparalleled intimacy and connection between husband and wife. God intended for sex to be pleasurable and satisfying within this sacred covenant of marriage (Proverbs 5:18-19). Hebrews 13:4 declares, “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled.” The marriage bed is to be kept pure by reserving sexual intimacy for one’s spouse.
The Bible forbids sexual immorality including adultery, homosexuality, premarital sex, and pornography (Galatians 5:19, 1 Corinthians 6:9-10). God designed boundaries around sex for our protection and flourishing. Within marriage, the Bible encourages married couples to enthusiastically enjoy sex without inhibition (1 Corinthians 7:3-5). The entire book Song of Solomon poetically describes the beauty of marital intimacy.
Throughout Scripture, God upholds the sanctity of sex within marriage. The Bible warns against depriving one’s spouse of sexual intimacy (1 Corinthians 7:5). God created sex to be a powerful force for building intimacy and oneness in marriage. Used properly and within its God-given bounds, sex in marriage can bond husband and wife together as “one flesh” in a uniquely profound way.
Biblical Purposes for Sex
The Bible outlines several clear purposes for sex within marriage:
Procreation
God blessed man and woman to “be fruitful and multiply” (Genesis 1:28). Having children is a key purpose of marriage and sexual union. The Bible presents children as a gift from the Lord (Psalm 127:3). Married couples are charged to raise godly offspring (Malachi 2:15). As such, most sexual activity in Scripture has the possibility of conception. However, sex even during barren times or old age is still celebrated (Genesis 18:11, Luke 1:7).
Intimacy and Pleasure
Sex is repeatedly presented as pleasurable in Scripture. The entire book Song of Solomon extols the joys of sexual love in poetic detail. Proverbs 5:19 declares, “Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love.” God designed sex to be a source of enjoyment and intimacy within marriage.
Unity
In the act of sex, husband and wife are joined together as “one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). This speaks to the profound oneness experienced relationally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically during sex. God uses this union to strengthen the covenant bond of marriage.
Protection
The Bible advises married couples to engage in frequent sex to protect against sexual immorality (1 Corinthians 7:3-5). In a fallen world filled with temptation, sex in marriage provides a legitimate outlet for natural desires.
Key Biblical Principles About Sex
In addition to purposes, Scripture provides the following guiding principles about sex:
Sex Is Reserved for Marriage
Passages like Hebrews 13:4 and 1 Corinthians 7:2 make it clear that God designed sex for marriage. Sexual immorality is repeatedly forbidden (Galatians 5:19). God planned sex to bond husband and wife, and any sex outside of marriage perverts God’s good design.
Sex Is a Duty in Marriage
Since husbands and wives belong fully to each other in marriage, Scripture says they should not deprive one another of sex (1 Corinthians 7:3-5). Couples are called to do their marital “duty” to fulfill each other’s needs.
Sex Is for Pleasure
As previously discussed, the Bible describes sex as pleasurable. Couples are encouraged to freely enjoy sex within marriage (Proverbs 5:15-19). God wants married couples to delight in this gift He has given.
Sex Unites Spouses
During sex, husband and wife are joined together in a one-flesh union (Genesis 2:24). This uniting goes beyond just physical to emotional, spiritual, and relational oneness. God leverages sex to create intimacy and bonding between spouses.
Sex Is for Procreation
The Bible repeatedly ties sex to procreation (Genesis 1:28). Married couples are called to be fruitful and multiply. Children are seen as blessings from God and a purpose of marriage.
Selfishness Should Be Avoided
Since sex joins spouses together, the Bible warns against using sex in an unloving, selfish way. 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 tells couples to fulfill each other’s needs. The goal should be pleasing one’s spouse.
Sex Requires Discretion
Proverbs 5:18-19 says to enjoy sex privately in the marriage bed. While Scripture celebrates sex, details are kept discreet out of respect for this intimate gift of God.
Sexual Morality in Marriage
The Bible provides clear standards for sexual behavior within marriage. Sex is reserved for one’s spouse of the opposite sex (Romans 1:26-27). Scripture allows the following types of sexual activity in marriage:
Vaginal Intercourse
As the basic act of sex, vaginal intercourse is central to procreation and sexual pleasure in marriage. It uniquely joins husband and wife together (Genesis 2:24).
Oral Sex
While not directly mentioned, passages like Song of Solomon 4:12 imply oral sex is permitted within marriage. However, both partners should agree.
Manual Stimulation
Masturbation is not directly referenced, but satisfying each other sexually is encouraged in 1 Corinthians 7:3-4. Mutual masturbation can fall within God’s design if both partners feel comfortable.
No other sexual activity is condoned in Scripture. However, with love and mutual consent, activities besides intercourse can be incorporated into a marriage bed kept “undefiled” (Hebrews 13:4).
Sexual Immorality in Marriage
The Bible condemns any sexual activity in marriage that: 1) physically or emotionally harms one’s spouse, 2) involves anyone besides one’s spouse, or 3) conflicts with one’s spouse’s wishes.
Sexual immorality includes but is not limited to:
Adultery
Having any sexual activity with someone who is not one’s spouse is considered adultery (Exodus 20:14). Adultery is strongly condemned throughout Scripture.
Abuse
Any non-consensual sexual activity or activity intended to harm one’s spouse physically or emotionally goes against biblical principles (1 Peter 3:7).
Homosexuality
The Bible prohibits sexual relations between people of the same sex (Leviticus 18:22, Romans 1:26-27). God designed heterosexual relations within marriage.
Pornography
Jesus taught that lustfully looking at someone who is not one’s spouse is like adultery (Matthew 5:28). Pornography conflicts with God’s commands for purity.
Other immoral behaviors like swinging, affairs, prostitution, and sex toys would constitute adultery, conflicting with biblical marriage.
Addressing Sexual Difficulties
Within God’s design, couples may face sexual difficulties like:
Lack of Desire
Physical factors, stress, emotional distance, or sin can dampen sexual desire. Seeking medical help, improving communication, cultivating intimacy, and praying together can help rekindle desire.
Physical Problems
Issues like erectile dysfunction or vaginal dryness may require medical consultation. Patience, empathy, and creativity can aid couples through these challenges.
Differing Drives
Spouses may have mismatched sex drives. Schedule-setting, compromise, and non-sexual intimacy can help bridge libido differences.
Past Sexual Sin
Promiscuity or pornography use before marriage may impede intimacy. God offers forgiveness and healing, but Christian counseling may be needed.
Childbirth Struggles
After birth, women may struggle with body image issues or postpartum depression impacting sexuality. Husbands should offer support, affection, and encouragement during recovery.
Couples should extend grace in sexual difficulties, discuss challenges openly, and seek help when needed. With mutual understanding and God’s help, marital intimacy can be restored.
Conclusion
Within the protective boundary of marriage, Scripture encourages the full enjoyment of sex as God’s gift. The Bible provides guiding principles and clear moral standards for honoring God in this central part of marriage. Husbands and wives who follow God’s design for sex will be richly blessed in their union.
