A covenant marriage is a legally distinct kind of marriage in 3 states (Arizona, Arkansas, and Louisiana) in the United States, in which the marrying spouses agree to obtain pre-marital counseling and accept more limited grounds for later seeking divorce. The movement to allow covenant marriage as an option was spearheaded by 3 Christian groups: the Roman Catholic Church, the Lutheran Church-Missouri Synod, and the Christian Coalition. In some cases the requirements and limitations of a covenant marriage mirror those often employed in wedding vows composed by the couple themselves.
The Bible speaks of marriage as a sacred covenant between a man and a woman before God. In Malachi 2:14, marriage is described as a “covenant made by your fathers.” In Proverbs 2:16-17, marriage is a “covenant of her God.” The marriage covenant is meant to represent the relationship between God and His people. As God is faithful to His people, husbands and wives should be faithful to one another (Ephesians 5:25-33).
When entering into a covenant marriage, the couple makes a declaration of intent announcing they understand the nature of the relationship. The declaration includes reciting they have received premarital counseling that included instruction regarding conflict resolution in the marriage. The couple also states they have disclosed to one another everything that could adversely affect their marriage (Titus 3:3-7). The declaration of intent outlines the grounds for ending the covenant marriage.
Proponents of covenant marriage say it differs from an ordinary marriage because it requires premarital counseling to prepare the couple for obligations and expectations of the union. It also requires the couple make a commitment to take all reasonable efforts to preserve the marriage, including marital counseling, before seeking a divorce. Laws allowing covenant marriages define limited grounds for divorce that do not include incompatibility, lack of love, or differing career goals. For a covenant marriage, these are not considered valid reasons to end the relationship.
The covenant marriage movement aims to reduce divorce rates. Proponents argue mutual consent is not enough basis to dissolve a marriage. The Bible says God intended marriage to be lifelong and only in extreme situations should divorce be considered (Matthew 19:1-12). They say secular society has forgotten marriage is meant to be an unconditional covenant in which spouses are fully committed. Covenant marriage laws reflect this ideal.
Critics argue covenant marriages restrict personal freedom. They say mutual consent should be sufficient grounds for divorce and the law should not make it more complicated to end a failed relationship. Some believe too many Americans enter marriage without appreciating its gravity and making it harder to divorce would promote reflection before committing. They say covenant marriages could lead to couples remaining in unhealthy relationships and trap spouses in abusive marriages.
States allowing covenant marriage require the couple declare their marriage is “a covenant between a man and a woman who agree to live together as husband and wife for as long as they both may live.” Biblically, the marital covenant means the couple forms an exclusive union recognized by God (Matthew 19:5-6). The marriage covenant calls for faithfulness, sacrifice, and unconditional love. It should reflect Christ’s relationship with the Church (Ephesians 5:25-27).
The Bible describes marriage as two becoming “one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). It is one of God’s greatest gifts to humanity and the primary human relationship through which spirituality grows. Marriage also offers intimacy, partnership and romantic love. But its core is covenant commitment. The marriage covenant provides the security for freely giving oneself to another. It requires earnest intention and constant nurture.
Biblically, marriage covenants are unconditional, sacred commitments not to be abandoned. Ever since God established marriage as an ordinance, spouses pledge themselves exclusively to their mates (Genesis 2:24). They vow to remain steadfast in lifelong faithfulness, during good or bad seasons. The marriage covenant is permanent and final.
Some key verses regarding the sanctity and permanence of marriage covenants include:
Malachi 2:14-16 – God sees divorce as treachery.
Matthew 19:4-6 – What God joins together, no person should separate.
1 Corinthians 7:10-11 – A wife must not separate from her husband.
Ephesians 5:31-32 – Marriage is a profound mystery representing Christ and the Church.
Some people argue divorce should be allowed in extreme cases like adultery, abuse or abandonment. They cite verses like Matthew 5:32 and 1 Corinthians 7:15 to contend Scripture permits divorce under certain circumstances. However, others counter Scripture only acknowledges divorce might occur but does not approve it. They say God always prefers marriage reconciliation over abandonment.
In covenant marriage, couples vow to make every reasonable effort to resolve differences before considering divorce. This usually involves seeking counseling even when the marriage suffers. Only after working diligently to repair the relationship do they then consider divorce. But the grounds for divorce are much more limited compared to secular dissolutions.
Biblically, hardened hearts and lack of forgiveness contribute greatly to marital breakdown and divorce. Scripture challenges spouses to demonstrate the sacrificial love and forgiveness God exemplifies towards humanity (Colossians 3:12-15). It also warns against hard hearts, bitterness and contempt which destroy intimacy. Couples in struggling marriages are advised to recreate their union according to principles of Christ-like love, patience, kindness and forgiveness.
The Bible describes human marriages as emblems of the relationship between God and His people. Marriage covenants honor God when spouses reflect His covenant faithfulness despite their mate’s flaws and failings. Covenant marriages aim to model unconditional commitment and righteousness. The goal is consecrating marriage for spiritual growth.
Critics contend legal contracts cannot ensure lifelong commitment. They argue a couple either possesses marital devotion or does not. Laws restricting divorce mainly trap unwilling partners in unfulfilling relationships. They say devotion cannot be coerced by stricter divorce rules. Lasting marriage requires spousal virtues like unselfishness, trust and perseverance.
Supporters counter covenant marriages encourage couples to intentionally build marital virtues before exchanging vows. The premarital counseling and divorce limitations promote solemn reflection during courtship about the gravity of lifelong vows. They believe this deliberation produces stronger initial commitment. Also, they say establishing biblical grounds like adultery or abandonment as sole legal exit strategies shapes spousal expectations toward preserving marriage.
Those advocating covenant marriage also point out secular society has shifted toward encouraging individualism and self-fulfillment over institutional and community devotion. No-fault divorce laws reflect this reprioritizing of values in a manner they believe harms social cohesion. Covenant marriage better adheres to historical Western traditions that esteemed marital permanence as foundational to familial and community welfare.
The Bible frequently depicts God as grieved and dismayed by divorce and the devastation it causes, especially upon women and children. In Malachi 2:13-16, God fiercely rebukes husbands dealing treacherously with their wives through divorce. Jesus also emphasized honoring marital vows by limiting divorce only to sexual immorality situations (Matthew 5:32). Scripture urges marriage reconciliation over abandonment.
However, the Bible does acknowledge divorce occurs even between believers. In these cases, there are some guidelines provided:
– Divorced people are still welcomed in the church (1 Corinthians 7:11-13).
– Divorcees and widow(er)s are permitted to remarry fellow believers (1 Corinthians 7:39, 1 Timothy 5:14).
– Leaders like elders and deacons ideally should be husband of one wife without history of divorce (1 Timothy 3:2,12 and Titus 1:6).
– Divorce is permitted when initiated by an unbelieving spouse (1 Corinthians 7:15).
– Divorcees should remain unmarried or reconcile with their spouses (1 Corinthians 7:11).
The Bible consistently upholds the marriage covenant as sacred and permanent, but handles divorce occasions with grace and redemption. God works patiently with flawed believers, even when they cannot honor their marital vows. The gospel offers forgiveness and new beginnings.
Covenant marriage basically contends contemporary no-fault divorce undermines marriage foundations. It aims to legally reinforce biblical marriage values like commitment, self-sacrifice and perseverance. It brings back fault-based divorce grounds while restricting exit opportunities. Supporters believe this bolsters marital covenant ideals and formation virtues.
Critics argue restricting personal autonomy excessively regulates private relations. They contend voluntary commitment achieves more than legal constraints. Some also warn more rigorous exit barriers mainly incentivize couples to bypass marriage altogether via cohabitation which leaves women and children especially vulnerable.
Christians believe marriage is a God-ordained institution (Genesis 2:24). It serves divine purposes like modelling Christ’s relationship with the Church (Ephesians 5:25-32) and nurturing spiritual growth. So God cares deeply about marriage quality and centrality. Laws upholding biblical covenant marriage help consecrate this sacred union in society. But regeneration of individuals through the Holy Spirit is ultimately what restores holy matrimony.
The heart of covenant marriage is devoting to one’s spouse despite their flaws and failings. It embodies unconditional love that mirrors God’s love. But sinners cannot achieve this through sheer willpower. Covenant marriage is impossible apart from the sanctifying power of the Holy Spirit. He enables spouses to forgive, show compassion, and persevere as Christ demonstrated.
God designed marriage covenants to reinforce humanity’s need for Him. Marital relationships inevitably reveal mankind’s insufficiency on their own. Through daily dependence and grace, the Spirit empowers Christians to honor their marriage vows. He replaces hardness of heart with Christ’s self-sacrificial love. This spiritual renewal sustains covenant marriages.
The Bible consistently calls spouses to reflect God’s righteousness. For instance, Ephesians 5 instructs husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the Church. It tells wives to submit to their husbands as the Church submits to Christ. And it warns all believers to abstain from sexual immorality and covetousness. God means for marriage to be consecrated, set apart for His purposes.
Marriage serves as an opportunity to demonstrate faith. Spouses must die to selfishness and honor covenant vows in reliance on the Holy Spirit, not legal contracts. Christian marriages should build companionship, intimacy and trust in godly ways that point towards Christ. God sanctifies willing and obedient couples into deeper relationship with Him.
Covenant marriage aims to legally reinforce marital values like commitment, unconditional love, forgiveness and perseverance. Supporters contend it cultivates virtues necessary to sustain lifelong marriage. But critics argue changed hearts, not changed laws, build strong marriages. They emphasize voluntary virtues over legal constraints.
Ultimately, Scripture upholds marriage as a sacred lifelong covenant. God desires spouses reflect His love and forgiveness. But only through the regenerating power of the Holy Spirit can believers honor marital vows. Legal covenants alone cannot achieve covenant faithfulness. Renewed minds and hearts are essential foundations for holy matrimony and exemplifying Christ through marriage.