1 Corinthians 7:5 states “Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” This verse touches on an important aspect of marriage – the intimate physical relationship between husband and wife. Specifically, it addresses the issue of abstaining from sexual relations for a period of time by mutual consent in order to devote oneself to prayer.
The overall message of 1 Corinthians 7 is that husbands and wives have responsibilities and duties towards each other when it comes to marital intimacy. Marriage is not just about the individual but about honoring and respecting your spouse. Within this context, verse 5 indicates that temporary abstinence from sex in marriage is permissible if both partners mutually agree to it. The abstinence should only be for a limited time with the goal of focusing on prayer and spiritual disciplines.
Some key principles we can draw from this verse regarding mutual consent are:
- There must be agreement between both spouses – The decision to abstain from sex should not be one-sided but mutually agreed upon. Neither spouse should deprive the other without consent.
- The abstinence should be temporary – It is not meant to be a permanent arrangement but only for a specific season as needed to focus on prayer.
- Coming back together is important – Intimacy is to be resumed after the agreed upon time so that temptation does not set in.
- Intimacy is a marital duty – Paul emphasizes that husbands and wives have responsibilities towards each other when it comes to meeting physical needs in marriage.
In summary, mutual consent in 1 Corinthians 7:5 refers to both marriage partners willingly and openly agreeing to abstain from sexual intimacy for a limited time in order to devote themselves to prayer and spiritual growth during that season. This requires self-control, sacrifice, and putting your spouse first by not depriving them indefinitely. Mutual submission to each other out of reverence for Christ (Ephesians 5:21) should be the motivating factor.
Looking at some common questions about this verse will help further clarify its meaning:
What does it mean to “deprive one another”?
To “deprive one another” in this context means to refuse your spouse the physical intimacy and sexual relations that are a normal part of marriage. Conjugal rights are to be respected in marriage. So depriving or withholding sex from your spouse without reason or consent is a violation of the duties of marriage.
What if one spouse wants to abstain but the other doesn’t consent?
The abstinence Paul is referring to is meant to be by mutual agreement only. If one spouse wishes to abstain but the other does not consent, forced abstinence should be avoided. Neither the husband nor the wife have sole authority over their body but must be sensitive to the other’s wishes (1 Cor 7:4). Prayerful discussion, compromise and seeking counsel may be needed to resolve disagreements.
Is it sinful then to unilaterally decide to abstain from sex in marriage?
Marriage requires mutual submission. So while occasional, short-term abstinence may not be sinful in itself, unilaterally abstaining from sex against your spouse’s wishes could be unwise and selfish. It fails to honor the marital obligation to meet each other’s needs. As with other decisions that affect both partners, it is best to come to mutual agreement about abstaining through compromise. Forced deprivation could breed temptation and conflict.
What if abstaining is due to medical reasons or impossibility?
Paul is addressing purposeful deprivation motivated by pursuit of spiritual goals. Inability to engage in intercourse due to medical conditions, physical separation, or other involuntary reasons is a different situation. Spouses should compassionately support each other through such circumstances rather than let deprivation breed temptation.
What does it mean to come together again so Satan may not tempt?
After an agreed upon time of abstinence for prayer, normal marital relations are to be resumed. Depriving each other indefinitely could open doors for temptation or sexual immorality to creep into the marriage. So spouses are to regularly render what is due to each other to prevent temptation caused by lack of self-control. Feeling deprived often leads to wandering eyes and hearts.
What kind of prayer and spiritual goals did Paul have in mind?
Scripture does not specify what prayer needs may warrant abstinence. It could include focusing on communion with God, fasting, grieving loss, or seeking deliverance from trials. For Catholic couples, abstaining during Lent for spiritual discipline could also fit this category. The main goal is deeper devotion to God during the agreed upon time of abstinence.
How long of a time period is considered reasonable for abstinence?
The Bible does not prescribe a timeframe. The period of abstinence should be mutually agreed upon based on the couple’s spiritual goals and awareness of each other’s needs. Most practitioners recommend abstaining only 1-2 weeks at most to prevent strain on the marriage. Times of prayer and fasting in scripture tended to be short seasons, not indefinite.
Does this verse prohibit all physical affection and intimacy?
The focus of this verse is on refraining from sexual relations for a brief time. However, other displays of physical and emotional intimacy can continue between spouses even during the agreed upon abstinence. Couples should still practice affection to foster closeness and prevent drift.
What happens if abstinence negatively impacts the marriage?
If abstaining seems to be harming the marriage due to temptation, resentment or other issues arising, the couple should have the wisdom to resume relations and reevaluate their original agreement. Just as for fasting from food, breaking the “fast” from sex may at times be necessary.
How does abstinence for prayer differ from other reasons couples may abstain?
Abstaining from sex for spiritual purposes requires mutual consent and is meant to be time-limited. It differs from abstinence due to medical conditions, counseling advice to recover intimacy, disciplinary consequences for infidelity, or general busyness and distraction. These may arise independently of mutual agreement.
In conclusion, 1 Corinthians 7:5 addresses an important dynamic of honoring each other’s needs in marriage. Husbands and wives have conjugal rights and responsibilities towards one another. Periods of agreed upon abstinence for focused prayer are permitted, but should be temporary and not deprive the spouse. Ultimately, showing sacrificial love through sensitivity, wisdom and compromise regarding physical intimacy exemplifies mutual submission in marriage.
The Bible offers this and many other practical principles for marriage relationships. God’s design and directives are meant for the good of couples, that they may reflect the love between Christ and the church. Aiming for mutual understanding regarding intimacy while prioritizing spiritual discipline at appropriate times honors the Lord. Through His grace, married couples can put self-centeredness aside and truly fulfill their marital duties to one another.
