Valentine’s Day is a widely celebrated holiday on February 14th each year. It is a day associated with expressing love and affection, often through giving cards, flowers, chocolates, or other gifts to one’s spouse or sweetheart. However, many Christians wonder about the origins of this holiday and whether it is appropriate for believers to participate in its customary traditions. Examining the history and meanings behind Valentine’s Day can help Christians make an informed decision about their involvement.
The Origins of Valentine’s Day
There are differing accounts of the exact origins of Valentine’s Day. Some connect it to a Christian saint named Valentine who lived in Rome in the 3rd century AD. According to legend, Valentine was martyred by the emperor Claudius II for secretly marrying Christian couples when marriage was forbidden. Before his execution on February 14th, he allegedly wrote a letter signed “Your Valentine” to a woman he had befriended while imprisoned. Others believe the day originated as the Christian festival of Lupercalia, a pagan celebration held each year on February 15th. Part of this ancient festival involved putting women’s names in a box and randomly matching men to women to be coupled until the next year’s festival.
By the Middle Ages, Valentine’s Day came to be celebrated as a day of romance associated with courtly love. Geoffrey Chaucer and other poets of the time wrote verses about courtship and affection between men and women. Common symbols of Valentine’s Day like hearts, flowers, and cupid derive from the medieval tradition of courtly love. The exchanging of notes and tokens on this date eventually evolved into the Valentine’s Day cards and gifts that many couples exchange today. Throughout the ages, Valentine’s Day has been a popular holiday associated with declarations of earthly love.
A Biblical Perspective on Valentine’s Day
When evaluating holidays not mentioned in the Bible, Christians should take care to examine the historical meanings and modern practices associated with that event. From a biblical perspective, there are some aspects of Valentine’s Day that may be considered positive or innocuous by believers, and other elements that seem to conflict with Scripture.
On the positive side, expressing true love and commitment between married couples is certainly biblical (Ephesians 5:25; 1 Corinthians 13:4-7). The Bible also shows that romantic desire and marriage are gifts from God when experienced within appropriate boundaries (Proverbs 5:18-19; Song of Solomon; Hebrews 13:4). As such, a Christian married couple exchanging cards, gifts, or romantic gestures on Valentine’s Day could be considered a celebration of conjugal love and unity. For dating or engaged couples, it may foster affection within proper limits.
However, several components of Valentine’s Day are questionable for Christians from a biblical perspective. The exaggerated commercialism and materialism surrounding this holiday promote coveting, greed, debt, and excess (Luke 12:15; 1 Timothy 6:10). The association with Cupid, a pagan mythological figure, is also troubling (1 Corinthians 10:20-21). Additionally, the emphasis on emotionalism, physical attraction, and romantic fantasy minimizes godly qualities like commitment, discipline, sacrifice, and covenant faithfulness (Matthew 5:27-28; Proverbs 6:32; 1 Corinthians 6:13). This could encourage emotional affairs or sexual immorality.
The modern practices of Valentine’s Day often work to distort the biblical view of love – that it should be unconditionally selfless like God’s love, not based on superficial feelings or lust (1 John 4:8; Matthew 22:37-39). Overall, the origins of this holiday lie more in paganism and secular views of human romance than God’s design for marriage.
How Should Christians Respond to Valentine’s Day?
Given these concerns, some Christians refrain from celebrating Valentine’s Day altogether, believing its roots and modern expressions are contrary to Scripture. They do not wish to link themselves with the unbiblical views of love and romance promoted through this holiday. Other believers feel complete freedom to celebrate and see it as an opportunity to show love for their spouse or family.
Many Christians take more of a moderate position. They exercise caution and discernment regarding their personal participation. A married couple may exchange simple, modest Valentines but avoid going overboard on gifts or indulging in lust. Christians should be alert to promote godly marriage values rather than distorted worldly perspectives on this day. Single believers can celebrate familial love and friendships rather than participate in any inappropriate romantic rituals.
When evaluating Valentine’s Day or other holidays, Christians should apply biblical principles like freedom in Christ, acting in faith according to personal conscience, and avoiding outright immorality or harmful influences (Romans 14; 1 Corinthians 6:12-13; 1 Corinthians 10:31). Mature believers can celebrate wisely without compromising their values or causing a weaker brother to stumble.
As with many areas of the Christian life, wisdom and moderation are key. The Bible does not prohibit expressions of love and romance between husbands and wives on Valentine’s Day, as long as these are kept pure. However, believers should be aware of the ungodly perspectives and worldly entanglements sometimes attached to this holiday. With discernment and discretion, Christians can avoid potential pitfalls and celebrate in a way that honors God.
Valentine’s Day Customs to Use Caution With
When celebrating Valentine’s Day, there are some customary traditions that Christians may want to prayerfully reconsider or modify to align with biblical values. Here are several Valentine’s Day practices that may require wisdom and discernment:
- Giving provocative lingerie or clothing – While intimate apparel in the bedroom is permitted in marriage (Proverbs 5:19; Song of Solomon 4:9-11), risque garments given on Valentine’s Day can promote lust. Modesty and restraint are wise.
- Sexual indulgence – Couples should avoid turning this holiday into an excuse for sexual excess outside of biblical norms for purity (1 Corinthians 6:18-20).
- Focus on physical attraction – While romance involves appropriate physical and emotional attraction between spouses (Song of Solomon 5:10-16), Valentine’s Day often unhealthily amplifies physical allure over commitment.
- Living beyond one’s means – Buying lavish gifts, flowers, candy, or other treats should be done within reasonable budget limits to avoid greed and debt.
- Marital neglect the rest of the year – One day of attention and romance should not substitute for consistent nurturing love all year.
- Premarital physical expressions – Unmarried couples should avoid exchanging overly romantic gifts or participating in physical displays beyond appropriate conservative boundaries (1 Thessalonians 4:3-5).
With wisdom and discernment, Christians can celebrate Valentine’s Day without adopting practices that may be unbiblical or unwise. The key is focusing on godly, committed love more than feelings, lust, or excessive romanticism.
Ways for Christians to Celebrate Valentine’s Day
Here are some suggestions for believers to celebrate Valentine’s Day in a way that honors God and aligns with biblical values:
- Husbands and wives can exchange thoughtful cards, enjoy a date night, give modest gifts, and rekindle intimacy within marriage bonds.
- Singles can celebrate familial love and platonic friendships rather than feel pressured into inappropriate romantic liaisons.
- Parents and children can exchange cards, candy/treats, flowers, quality time, and other expressions of devoted love.
- Church groups can host agape feasts or community service events focused on God’s love and Christian fellowship.
- Couples can use this day to renew their marriage vows and reinforce their covenant commitment to each other before God.
- Believers could use this occasion to show Christlike care for disadvantaged groups like widows, military spouses, hospital patients, shut-ins, or those in nursing homes.
- Christian marriage seminars or premarital counseling classes could discuss building godly relationships.
- Valentine’s Day could also be a time to donate to charities that protect biblical marriage values.
With a little re-focusing, Valentine’s Day can be transformed into an opportunity for sharing godly love and shining the light of Christ through marriages, families, friendships, churches, and communities.
A Biblical Perspective on Marriage and Romance
Getting back to Scripture is the key for Christians seeking godly wisdom about celebrations like Valentine’s Day that deal with romance and marriage. Here are some important biblical truths about love, relationships and holiness:
- Marriage is instituted by God, involves intimate physical union, and should be lifelong (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:4-6; 1 Corinthians 7:1-5).
- Sexual desire and physical intimacy are good in the confines of marriage (Proverbs 5:18-19; Song of Solomon 4:9-12; 1 Corinthians 7:3-5).
- God designed faithful monogamy between one man and one woman in marriage (Genesis 2:24; Romans 7:2-3; 1 Corinthians 7:2).
- Christlike love is patient, kind, unselfish, forgiving, and dedicated (1 Corinthians 13:4-8a).
- Believers should pursue godly character more than external beauty (Proverbs 31:30; 1 Peter 3:3-4; 1 Timothy 2:9-10).
- Marriage must be nurtured, requiring sacrifice and serving one’s spouse (Ephesians 5:25, 28, 33).
- Romantic love and sexual activity outside of marriage are sinful (Hebrews 13:4).
- Covenant faithfulness in marriage reflects God’s faithfulness (Hosea; Ephesians 5:25, 32-33).
- Christians should avoid sexual immorality and live honorable lives (Romans 12:1-2; 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8).
- Believers should not be unevenly yoked with unbelievers in relationships (2 Corinthians 6:14).
With values centered on God’s Word, Christians can express true love in dating and marriage relationships in a way that honors the Lord. Genuine faith transforms how believers view romance, love, and godly unions.
Conclusion
Valentine’s Day has origins in both Christian and pagan history. This blend has produced a modern holiday with practices that challenge some biblical standards regarding sexuality, materialism, and the exclusive devotion required in marriage. Christians desiring to celebrate this popular occasion should exercise prayerful discernment and moderation. With wisdom, believers can focus Valentine’s Day more fully on godly expressions of love within appropriate boundaries.
Expressions of true love, romance, and lifelong commitment between spouses are certainly encouraged in Scripture when practiced faithfully and purely. But Christians must be careful not to adopt an uncritical or overzealous participation in secularized versions of these relationships. By emphasizing godly principles, believers can celebrate Valentine’s Day, or any other holiday, in a way that brings glory to Christ and aligns with the Bible.