Amnon was the eldest son of King David and his wife Ahinoam (2 Samuel 3:2). His story is told in 2 Samuel 13. Amnon fell in love with his half-sister Tamar, the beautiful daughter of David and Maacah (2 Samuel 13:1). However, their incestuous relationship was forbidden by the Mosaic law (Leviticus 18:9, 11). Amnon became obsessed with Tamar and feigned illness in order to get her alone in his house. When she brought food to him, he raped her (2 Samuel 13:14).
After the rape, Amnon’s love quickly turned to hatred and he sent Tamar away (2 Samuel 13:15). Tamar tore her robe and put ashes on her head as signs of grief and shame over what had happened to her (2 Samuel 13:19). When David heard about Amnon’s crime, he was very angry but did nothing to punish him (2 Samuel 13:21).
Two years later, Tamar’s full brother Absalom took revenge by ordering his servants to murder Amnon at a feast (2 Samuel 13:23-29). This led to Absalom’s banishment from the kingdom for a period of time. Amnon’s death fulfilled the prophetic word of the Lord that had come through Nathan the prophet that evil would arise from within David’s own household as a consequence of his sin with Bathsheba (2 Samuel 12:10-12).
There are several important lessons that can be learned from Amnon’s tragic story:
- The dangers of unrestrained lust and passion. Amnon allowed his physical desires for Tamar to completely overrule moral restraints.
- The tendency to objectify and use other people for selfish ends rather than treating them as human beings created in God’s image.
- The shallowness of lust versus genuine love. Amnon’s “love” for Tamar quickly evaporated after he exploited her.
- The terrible wounds and destruction caused by sexual sin, especially rape. Tamar experienced lifelong shame.
- The consequences of sin spread out and negatively impact many others besides the original sinner.
- The need for sexual purity, self-control and respect for others.
- The necessity of guarding our hearts and being led by the Spirit rather than fleshly desires.
Amnon is a sobering example of how those with power and privilege can cruelly take advantage of and abuse others for their own gratification. As King David’s heir, Amnon evidently felt entitled to do whatever he wanted, regardless of ethics or who got hurt. His story illustrates in vivid detail the tragic results of living for one’s own lusts rather than pursuing righteousness.
Background on Amnon
Amnon was the firstborn son of King David, born in Hebron while David was still reigning there before conquering Jerusalem and becoming king over all Israel (2 Samuel 3:2-5). His mother was Ahinoam the Jezreelitess, one of David’s earliest wives. As the eldest son of the king, Amnon was heir apparent to inherit David’s throne. He grew up as crown prince in the royal palace in Jerusalem.
Very little is known about Amnon’s early life or character prior to his rape of Tamar. There are hints that he may have been spoiled, self-indulgent and aware of his status as next in line to be king. Ancient Jewish traditions suggest he was David’s only son by Ahinoam and was perhaps overly pampered by his mother. In any case, Amnon evidently did not fear God or respect others, being driven solely by his own passions.
Amnon’s name means “faithful” in Hebrew, but he displayed just the opposite character quality. It was likely given to him by his parents with hopeful expectations that were never realized. Instead of living up to his name, Amnon shattered his family and royal legacy through his lustful crime against Tamar.
Amnon’s Obsession with Tamar
The Bible records that Amnon “fell sick with love” for his beautiful half-sister Tamar, a daughter of King David and Maacah (2 Samuel 13:1-2). Tamar is described as a virgin, which implies she was unmarried at the time. Amnon became so obsessed with her that he made himself physically ill.
Tamar was likely between 12-14 years old when Amnon attacked her. Maacah was David’s wife after he became king in Jerusalem (2 Samuel 3:3), so Tamar would still have been a young teen during Amnon’s plot against her. Amnon on the other hand was probably in his late teens or early twenties since he was old enough to have attendants serve him (2 Samuel 13:17).
There is debate over whether Amnon’s desire for Tamar was motivated by true love or simply lust. The text indicates it was lust, describing him as being “frustrated to the point of illness” (2 Samuel 13:2, NIV). The Hebrew word used means to narrowly restrict, implying Amnon’s lust had hemmed him in and become an obsession. He was ruled by his passions, not any noble emotions.
In any case, Amnon kept his incestuous desire for Tamar a secret, not telling anyone. But his friend Jonadab could see Amnon was pining over something and got him to confess it was Tamar (2 Samuel 13:3-4). Jonadab then shamefully advised Amnon on how to create an opportunity to sleep with Tamar by faking sickness.
Amnon’s Rape of Tamar
Following Jonadab’s counsel, Amnon pretended to be sick and asked his father King David to send Tamar to cook for him and feed him (2 Samuel 13:5-6). When Tamar arrived, Amnon ordered all his attendants to leave them alone (2 Samuel 13:9-10). When Tamar brought the bread to him, he grabbed her and said “Come, lie with me, my sister” (2 Samuel 13:11).
Tamar courageously rebuffed Amnon, urging him not to humiliate and disgrace her by this shameful act. She tried appealing to his conscience and sense of reason, saying he should ask King David for permission to marry her rather than take her by force (2 Samuel 13:12-13). Tamar reminded Amnon that such “outrage in Israel must not be committed” (2 Samuel 13:12).
But Amnon would not listen to Tamar’s pleas for mercy. He was stronger than her and “being stronger than she, he forced her and lay with her” (2 Samuel 13:14). The text makes it clear this was rape – a forcible, nonconsensual and evil act against Tamar’s will. Amnon callously ignored both Tamar’s arguments and her emotional trauma during this assault.
After the rape, Amnon’s feelings switched from obsession to disgust and rejection. Scripture says “he hated her with very great hatred” after assaulting her (2 Samuel 13:15). He wrongfully blamed Tamar, commanding her to get out of his sight and bolting the door after her.
Tamar’s words of protest “do not force me” were tragically ignored by Amnon (2 Samuel 13:12). She ended up stripped of her virginity and royal robe by this cruel act of power and lust. Amnon showed no compassion for the immense harm he inflicted on his half-sister. His only thoughts were gratifying himself.
Consequences of Amnon’s Sin
Amnon’s rape of Tamar set in motion devastating personal and national consequences. Tamar responded as a devastated young woman, pouring ashes on her head, tearing her robe, and crying aloud as she fled from Amnon’s presence (2 Samuel 13:19). Her royal princess life was forever damaged by this traumatic violation.
When King David heard what happened, he was filled with rage but did nothing to punish Amnon (2 Samuel 13:21). David’s inaction implied tolerance of Amnon’s vile deed. This parental failure fueled Absalom’s subsequent murder of Amnon in revenge.
Two full years went by before Absalom ordered his servants to kill Amnon while drunk at a feast (2 Samuel 13:23, 29). This ended Amnon’s life and claim to David’s throne. It also initiated conflict within David’s royal house that led to Absalom temporarily seizing the kingdom from his father.
Furthermore, Amnon’s sin fulfilled the prophetic judgment God had made against David for his adultery with Bathsheba and murder of Uriah (2 Samuel 12:10-12). The rape and its consequences were divine chastisement on David’s household due to his own sexual immorality and abuse of power earlier in his reign.
If David had punished Amnon rather than being silent, perhaps Absalom would not have taken matters into his own hands. David’s poor example as a father impacted his children negatively. Amnon’s lust and violence revealed cracks in the foundation of David’s kingdom that later resulted in disastrous civil war and family rebellion.
While David was partially at fault for enabling Amnon’s crime, Amnon alone bore responsibility for his evil choices. His life illustrates the bitter fruits of living for self, rejecting wisdom, and hardening one’s heart to the consequences of sin.
Lessons from Amnon’s Life
Amnon serves as a sobering case study on the dangers of unrestrained lust, selfishness and lack of self-control leading to the abuse of others. Several vital lessons emerge from examining his life:
- The human heart is capable of great evil when not guided by the Spirit of God. Amnon acted like an animal in his treatment of Tamar, obeying his base passions rather than conscience or morality. Without the restraining presence of the Holy Spirit, human beings slip toward barbarism and cruelty to others.
- Those with power must use it to protect the vulnerable, not exploit them. Amnon viewed his royal status as license to gratify himself at a weaker person’s expense. Leaders must imitate Jesus, the good shepherd who defends the helpless.
- Lust promises pleasure but brings emptiness and destruction. Amnon’s desires lured him to commit a grave sin with permanent consequences. Temptation must be resisted before it conceives death.
- Sexual purity and self-control are essential virtues. Amnon needed to flee from lust and treat women as sisters in Christ. God’s grace can empower people to overcome all types of sensual temptation.
- Sin often compound its effects over time. Amnon’s one act of rape impacted Tamar for life and later caused civil war. Evil is a moral cancer that spreads if not repented of and removed.
- Parental discipline and example is crucial. David’s apathy toward Amnon’s sin signaled tolerance of exploitation. Parenting roles come with responsibility to firmly correct sinful behavior.
- True love seeks the other’s good, not selfish gain. Real love does not force itself on others. Amnon lusted after Tamar as an object to use, not a person to cherish and honor.
Amnon represents how those raised in privilege can sometimes feel entitled to take whatever they want. His cautionary tale is relevant today whenever those with wealth, power or fame abuse others who lack those advantages. As Christians, we must condemn all exploitation of the weak and vulnerable.
Through the power of Christ and obedience to Scripture, we can avoid Amnon’s lustful path and instead treat others with dignity. When God’s love rules our hearts, it drives out all selfishness and compels us to serve rather than be served.
