Finding true love can seem incredibly difficult for many people. There are a few key reasons outlined in the Bible that help explain this struggle.
We Live in a Fallen World
Since the fall of man in Genesis 3, the world we live in is tainted by sin. Relationships are not exempt from the effects of sin. Pride, selfishness, lack of commitment, and many other issues can undermine relationships and make finding true love a challenge (Genesis 3:1-24). God’s original design for relationships was perfect, but sin corrupted everything.
Our Hearts are Prone to Wander
The Bible teaches that the human heart is deceitful above all things (Jeremiah 17:9). Even when we find love, our own sinful hearts can still waver and be drawn away. Without the power of the Holy Spirit, we lack the ability to truly love unselfishly over the long term (John 15:5). Our affections easily grow cold when we rely on our own fickle emotions.
We Lack Wisdom
Choosing a life partner is one of the most important decisions we face. Yet without seeking and following God’s wisdom, it’s easy to choose poorly. We may rely on superficial factors like physical appearance instead of qualities like integrity, commitment and spiritual maturity (Proverbs 31:30). Dating and relationships are filled with potential pitfalls without godly wisdom to guide us (Proverbs 2:6-11).
We Fail to Wait on God’s Timing
In our impatience, we often try to rush into relationships and force our own timing. However, God knows exactly when the right time is for the right person to come along. When we wait on His perfect timing instead of our own, we avoid much heartache (Ecclesiastes 3:11). Few things of lasting value happen overnight – true love is nurtured over time.
We Look for Love in the Wrong Places
In our culture, we are bombarded with worldly notions of love that can skew our perspectives. The Bible warns against looking for love in places like bars, parties, clubs, and other influence of secular society that promotes shallow relationships (2 Corinthians 6:14). True love often blossoms by looking in places of spiritual value and moral virtue instead.
We Fail to Become the Right Person
While seeking the right partner, we also need to focus on becoming the right person first (Philippians 2:3-4). Working on ourselves – our character, maturity, integrity – makes us more ready for the self-sacrifice and commitment true love requires. Spiritual growth helps us love unselfishly. If both individuals in a relationship are focused on serving the other, it creates the appropriate foundation.
We Lack Faith in God’s Good Plans
Finding true love can seem out of reach, causing many to simply settle out of despair. However, God promises to work all things for good for those who love Him (Romans 8:28). He can direct and guide our relationships perfectly. With faith and patience, we can trust His timing and plans to beautifully unfold (Hebrews 11:1). Though the wait can be difficult, God ultimately wants what is best for us.
The World Offers Counterfeits
With so many distorted views of love portrayed around us, it’s easy to fall into counterfeit relationships and mistakes. Songs, movies, magazines, friends, and culture constantly feed us lies about love. Without renewing our minds in God’s truth, these deceitful worldly notions can shipwreck our ability to find real love (Romans 12:2). We need to be on guard against settling for anything less than God’s best.
Spiritual Forces of Evil Oppose Love
The powers of darkness don’t want anything godly or good for us. Satan and his forces actively work to undermine love, sow lies, and ruin relationships (Ephesians 6:12). But the Bible says greater is He who is in us than he who is in the world (1 John 4:4). Through the power of Christ, we can have victory despite these spiritual attacks against true love.
We Become Discouraged and Give Up
After repeated disappointments and heartbreak, many people become jaded and simply stop looking for true love. However, we must not allow past mistakes or pain to make us bitter or lose hope. God can heal all wounds and restore a heart willing to keep trusting in His faithful promises (Hebrews 10:23). If we press on by faith, we will reap blessing and joy in His perfect timing.
Self-reliance Instead of Reliance on God
In relationships, our flesh tells us we need to be self-reliant, dependent on no one but ourselves. However, this is unbiblical and untrue. We all need community and godly support. Pride and stubborn independence actually hinder true intimacy and love from forming (1 Peter 5:5-7). Laying down our lives for each other, with Christ at the center, is the path to deep love.
Idolizing Romantic Love
Our culture often idolizes romantic love, making it out to be the meaning of life. When we put any relationship above God, we set ourselves up for disaster. No human can fulfill our deepest needs and desires – only Christ. Until He is first in our hearts, we won’t have the proper foundation for love with another (Matthew 6:33). Keeping God central provides the security and wholeness we seek.
Not Understanding Commitment
Many people lack good relationship role models and examples of lifelong covenant commitment. They may enter marriage without fully grasping the gravity of the vows and self-sacrifice required. But God designed marriage to reflect the beautiful covenant relationship between Christ and his bride, the Church (Ephesians 5:31-32). When we embrace God’s standards for commitment and purity, it sets relationships on the right course.
Unresolved Baggage from the Past
We all have unique backgrounds that shape who we are. When past emotional wounds, trauma, or family issues are never dealt with, it impedes the ability to form healthy relationships in the present. God can provide healing, but we must seek counselling and be intentional about resolving destructive patterns (Jeremiah 30:17). Our pasts don’t have to dictate our future love stories.
Prayerlessness
It’s easy to try to navigate dating and relationships without invoking God’s wisdom and oversight through prayer. But prayer is absolutely essential, as God guides the right people and timing together in ways we cannot orchestrate ourselves (Proverbs 3:5-6). Couples who build a foundation of seeking God together have a key advantage in developing lasting love.
Lack of Authentic Christian Community
Trying to find love alone can be daunting. We all need the body of Christ for accountability, support, prayer, wisdom and fellowship. In healthy churches focused on discipleship and applying God’s Word, we are far more likely to meet likeminded believers who share our values (Hebrews 10:24-25). Community provides the soil for relationships to grow in godly ways.
In summary, finding true love can certainly be challenging due to the effects of the fallen world we live in, our own imperfections and sin nature, lack of wisdom and godly guidance, and many other factors. However, through faith in Jesus Christ and obedience to Biblical principles for relationships, we can have hope, healing and purpose in our search for lasting love. God ultimately desires His children to experience His design for intimacy, companionship and oneness in marriage.
